Niagara Falls Jokes

A city worker walks into the Third Street Tap Room and says, “Bartender, a round for everyone, on me!”

The bartender says, “Well, seems you’re in a really good mood tonight, hmm?”

“Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start tomorrow!”

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round. The next night the same man walks back in, “Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!”

The bartender says, “If you’re so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you’ll be when you get your first paycheck!”

With a surprised look on his face, the man pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket and says, “You mean I get a paycheck too?”

***

A man dressed in hunting clothes and carrying a shotgun was arrested for stalking tourists in Niagara Falls State Park. When asked what he thought he was doing, he stated, “It’s tourist season, isn’t it?”

***

Mayor Dyster found out that the city comptroller has scammed the city out of $2 million. The comptroller happens to be deaf. Dyster had previously hired him because a deaf comptroller would not be able to hear anything he’d ever have to testify about in court.

When the mayor questions the comptroller about the missing $2 million, he brings along Seth Piccirillo, who knows sign language. The mayor asks the comptroller: “Where is the $2 million you embezzled?” Piccirillo, using sign language, asks the comptroller where the $2 million dollars is hidden.

The comptroller signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about. ” Seth Piccirillo tells the mayor: “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

That’s when Mayor Dyster pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the comptroller’s temple, cocks it, and says: “Ask him again!” Piccirillo signs to the underling: “He’ll kill you for sure if you don’t tell him!”

The comptroller signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind my cousin Pat’s house in DeVeaux!” The mayor asks Seth Piccirillo: “Well, what’d he say?”

Piccirillo replies: “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

***

A Niagara Falls Police officer recently stopped a tourist for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter.”
As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well… OK… this time you get a warning.”

***

A Niagara Falls Police officer was covering a quiet beat when he was amazed to find a former police captain on the police force doing the same.
He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Captain, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here on the streets, would it?”
“That it is,” the captain replied grimly, “ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball.”
“You mean you pinched his honor?” asked the patrol officer.
“How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?” demanded the demoted captain.
“Well,” mused the cop, “there’s a lesson in this somewhere.”
“That there is,” replied the captain…. “You should never book a judge by his cover.”

71 Comments

  1. Great post. I think you should write more and more. I really like when you`re writing. This is so good

  2. produce,Document represented too much time for too long to say I do have sick, how could you nevertheless hardly understand? I personally jot far too much too much We now have written and published depleted, you continue to don’t get precisely how

  3. you employ a excellent blog here! if you’d like to develop invite posts on my small weblog?

  4. Good, this is what I was looking for in yahoo

  5. I think this is one of the most vital info for me. And i’m glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really great : D. Good job, cheers

  6. Thank you so much for giving everyone such a memorable opportunity to read from this site. It’s always so superb and also packed with a great time for me and my office peers to visit your blog at least thrice per week to find out the new issues you have got. And definitely, I’m just always fulfilled concerning the magnificent things served by you. Selected two ideas on this page are really the finest I have had.

  7. I feel that is among the such a lot important info for me. And i’m glad studying your article. But want to remark on few common things, The site taste is wonderful, the articles is in reality great : D. Just right job, cheers

  8. Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  9. Normally I do not read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

  10. Ha, here from google, this is what i was browsing for.

  11. Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to know a lot approximately this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I think that you simply can do with some to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is great blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

  12. I enjoying, will read more. Cheers!

  13. GQA3tX the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

  14. Spot on with this write-up, I seriously think this site needs far
    more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read
    through more, thanks for the advice!

  15. Hello, I’m truly glad I came across your blog page, I actually found you by mistake, when I was looking on Yahoo for cable modem router. Anyhow I am here now and would really like to say thank you for a incredible posting and the all around interesting blog (I furthermore adore the theme), I don’t have enough time to go through it entirely at the moment though I have saved it and moreover added the RSS feed, so whenever I have plenty of time I will be returning to read more. Please do continue the wonderful work.

  16. Hey! This is my first comment on your website so I just wanted to say a fast shout out and say I really enjoy reading through your blog posts. Can you recommend any other websites which cover preschool homework? I’m likewise highly interested in this! Thanks!

  17. Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is excellent, let alone the content!

  18. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100 certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks

  19. Major thanks for the blog article.Really thank you! Want more.

  20. This i like. Cheers!

  21. Ni hao, here from google, me enjoyng this, will come back soon.

  22. Really enjoyed this blog article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

  23. Good Morning, yahoo lead me here, keep up great work.

  24. I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are amazing! Thanks!

  25. Really clear internet site, thanks for this post.

  26. I think this is a real great blog article.Thanks Again. Great.

  27. I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I?¦ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my site 🙂

  28. Simply want to say your article is as astounding.

  29. I really liked your article.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.

  30. Precisely what I was looking for, thankyou for posting.

  31. This page truly has all of the info I wanted concerning this subject and didn at know who to ask.

  32. thank you for all your efforts that you have put in this. Very interesting info. Truth sits upon the lips of dying men. by Matthew Arnold.

  33. I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks!

  34. Im obliged for the article.Really thank you! Cool.

  35. Thanks so much for the blog.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

  36. Thanks a lot for the blog post.Thanks Again.

  37. Say, you got a nice article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

  38. It has been a long time since I ave read anything so informative and compelling. I am waiting for the next article from the writer. Thank you.

  39. There is obviously a bunch to identify about this. I think you made various good points in features also.

  40. This is one awesome blog post.Really thank you!

  41. Strange , this page turns up with a dark hue to it, what shade is the primary color on your webpage?

  42. Major thankies for the post.Thanks Again. Awesome.

  43. Thanks for helping out, superb info.

  44. Muchos Gracias for your article. Really Great.

  45. some really interesting points you have written.

  46. Thanks a lot for the post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on

  47. Nice blog here! Also your web site loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  48. Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful post. Many thanks for supplying this info.

  49. paraphrase) aаАа’б‚Т€ТšаЂаŒ?never sacrificed construction regarding feelings. aаАа’б‚Т€ТšаЂаŒаАа’б‚Т€ТžаБТž In any situation, however some people accuse your pet to be strictly attractive, Mozart in

  50. Ridiculous quest there. What happened after? Good luck!|

  51. When I open up your Rss feed it appears to be a ton of garbage, is the problem on my side?

  52. Muchos Gracias for your post. Much obliged.

  53. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your fantastic post. Also, I ave shared your website in my social networks!

  54. Very good article. I am experiencing many of these issues as well..

  55. This awesome blog is definitely awesome additionally informative. I have found helluva interesting stuff out of it. I ad love to return again and again. Thanks a lot!

  56. Im obliged for the article post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

  57. Website worth visiting below you all find the link to some sites that we think you should visit

  58. Hey, you used to write excellent, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track! come on!

  59. Looking forward to reading more. Great post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.

  60. Online Article Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed underneath are the latest sites that we choose

  61. This is one awesome post.Really thank you! Much obliged.

  62. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable.

  63. If you desire to improve your know-how only keep

  64. Thanks for the blog post.Much thanks again. Great.

  65. pretty valuable material, overall I think this is worth a bookmark, thanks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK

https://www.facebook.com/NiagaraReporter/
 
Scroll Up
.wpzoom (color:black;}