Niagara Falls Jokes

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Mayor Dyster was hosting a diversity training session when he heard one of the Hispanic attendees use the word “manana”. Dyster asked him to explain what “manana” meant.

He was told that the term means “Maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?”

Somebody then asked the Mayor if he knew if there was an English equivalent word for “manana”, to which he replied, “No, I don’t think so. In Niagara Falls we don’t have a word to describe that degree of urgency.”

***

One Sunday morning, the Catholic priest at St. Mary of the Cataract noticed a new parishioner standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The parishioner had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and said quietly, “Good morning.”

“Good morning Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque, “Pastor, what is this?” The pastor said, “Well, it’s a memorial to all the men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, the new parishioner, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, “Which service, the 7:15 or the 9 am?”

***

The Family Court judge told a Niagara Falls man, “I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support.”

“That’s great, judge!” said the man, “And once in a while I’ll try to chip in a few bucks myself.”

***

The Niagara Falls student came home one day and told his father, “Dad, I have the biggest feet in the third grade! Is that because I grew fast?”

“No,” said his dad, “It’s because you’re NINETEEN.”

***

A new sandwich machine was installed at Niagara County Social Services on 10th Street, and a Niagara Falls benefits applicant thought he would give it a try.

He put his money in the slot, and out came a sandwich!

He was so excited, he put more of his money into the machine and received another sandwich. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches.

One of the social workers was wondering what the guy was doing, walked up to him, and asked, “Don’t you think you should stop now?”

“What the hell are you babbling about?!” he shouted, “I’m just starting to win big!”

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