Ask Flavio: Pain… and its Misunderstanding


When we talk about pain, we are talking about a subject that is misunderstood by many who are involved in the treatment of pain. Often these people have very little, or in some cases, no training at all in dealing with pain. The teaching of pain in medical school is so minimal that it makes it very difficult to understand and treat pain. When clients are referred to my office to help them deal with pain, they have no understanding about pain. They only know that their body hurts, and they want it to get better. Many of them take all types of medications, but the pain is still there. The reason that it is still there is because they are not treated properly. I begin by explaining to my clients that are suffering with pain, that there are three types of pain. When I make this statement the client often looks at me in a strange way and responds, “why hasn’t anyone told me this before?” My answer to them is, “many people treating pain just simply do not understand it.”

Let me take some time and explain the three types of pain.

1. There is the Physical Pain. This means there is a physical injury caused by some type of incident or accident. Physical pain can be treated by medication, exercise/physical therapy, or by changing body position. The physical pain is not present all of the time… it comes and goes.

2. There is what I call Emotional Pain. This type of pain is not caused by any physical injury but by unresolved emotional trauma. Example: emotional abuse, or verbal abuse. These painful events are stored in the physical, and when they are not dealt with, they will turn into pain. There is no medication to cure emotional pain. The good news is that the moment you deal with the unresolved issues, the pain immediately goes away.

3. There is Physical AND Emotional Pain Combined. This means that the individual has suffered a physical injury, but connected to it are negative emotions like fear, worry, and/ or anger. People who suffer from Physical/ Emotional pain go to therapy for years, and they often try all sorts of medications for pain relief. They become continually more frustrated and angry because the pain is still there. These people will only get better once they deal with the emotional pain first; if they do not, they will be in pain forever. Some people get stuck focusing on the physical component of pain, not understanding the emotional component. It often seems that these people do not want to understand the emotional component associated with healing. These same people generally would prefer someone else to do something about their pain. They want someone else to take care of their pain, and often don’t want to take responsibility for their healing. When there are unresolved issues in the body, the unconscious mind is communicating with you through your feelings, but often people don’t pay attention to these feelings. When these feelings are ignored, the unconscious mind will create pain in the location where these memories are stored. The purpose of the pain is to communicate with the individual, to let them know that there are unresolved issues that need to be dealt with.

To resolve issues, we must communicate with the mind. The inner subconscious is always in control of the body. Once the person reprograms his/her subconscious portion of the mind, which is where we all have the ability to make impactful change, he/she will immediately make changes in his/her physical body. I have witnessed on hundreds of occasions, people who have chosen to make these changes, go from a state of discomfort into a state of comfort… from a state of pain, into a state of relief.

For emotional pain, there is no medication that will cure the emotional pain. There are medications that will mask or numb the symptoms, but the emotional pain will only go away when the issues are dealt with at the root cause. Once these emotions are dealt with, peace will be restored in the person’s life. When the issues are resolved, the pain will go away with the issues. The issues can be removed by beginning to accept and love one’s self. The way to release any pain has to start with self love first. If a person thinks that they are unworthy, for whatever reason, it places negative programming into the subconscious mind. If someone believes he/she is not good enough, or not worthy enough, this belief is a lie because we are all good enough, and worthy enough, to receive all of the abundance of the universe.

Unfortunately, as we grow up, some people begin to believe that if they desire greatness, they are greedy or selfish. When they believe this, the lesson is connected to the understanding of the difference between reality and social belief systems in our culture/society. We must understand that the rules and regulations of our social atmosphere have very little in common with the reality of existence.

We often impose limitations on ourselves that we are too young, too small, not good enough, or not smart enough. Some people are also concerned about how others judge or perceive them. We crave to be accepted by others. In our society, there is a phenomenon that people care what other people think of them. We must understand that what other people think of us is not our business. This is only their opinion. The opinion could be coming from a horse’s ass, so just take it lightly, and then turn around and go your own way. Remember, pain is just a messenger like all other emotions; it is there to tell us that the body is not functioning at an optimum level. Once this message is understood, we can actually decrease the pain level. In a future article, I will explain more about the secondary gain associated with pain and how this secondary gain will either enhance the healing, halt the healing, or make it worse.

One of the worst situations is when people have pain, and have to deal with an insurance company claim in order to get treatment. They are already feeling weak, and they are put through an emotional interrogation of questions, often feeling like they are not believed. They have to go through multiple assessments, and stringent questioning, and they begin to believe that no one understands them; when in fact all they are seeking is a way to get better and be pain free. Often they are made to feel like they are exaggerating the pain, making up the severity of the pain, should have already healed, or that they should not be in pain at all. They feel that their integrity is being questioned. This creates frustration, and anger, and the pain continues to increase automatically. It has been proven that emotions are most certainly linked with pain levels. If a person is suffering from depression, and they are also in pain, they are far more likely to suffer from severe pain levels… moreso than someone who is not suffering from depression. Some scientists believe that depression has such a complex impact on the body, that it suppresses the ability to tolerate pain.

Reducing the symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, and other emotional problems tends to raise the tolerance to pain. This can be achieved through a variety of methods, among which are: therapeutic counseling, relaxation, and/or an increase or decrease in the interaction with certain people and medications. The purpose of this article is to help you gain a better understanding about pain. Most importantly, remember, the only person you are responsible for is you. So you must surround yourself with the resources that can assist you to regain your optimum health. If up until now you have been unable to find the right resources to help you… continue to search. If you truly want to get better, and live a pain-free life, the resources will come to you.

If you are suffering from pain, and want to get better, contact me at 905-933-3491 or by email at to learn how I can help. I have helped hundreds of clients alleviate pain, which has enabled them to move forward with their life in peace.


Flavio Iammarino holds a Ph.D in Behavioural Science and practices Clinical Hypnosis.

He is a published author, motivational speaker and clinical counselor with more than 30 years of experience in the field of personal development and mental enhancement performance, achieving remarkable success with patients at his Niagara Post-Traumatic Stress, Anxiety and Pain Management Centre.

Visit to book an appointment, or call 905-684-1717, and make a positive step towards your emotional health and well-being.

His office will be in touch within 24 hours to discuss your concerns and goals so that a positive outcome will be attained for you.


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