Niagara Falls Jokes

Hillary: “Jay Z, can I count on your vote?”

Jay Z: “Fo Shizzle My Hizzle”

***

Health care costs are rising uncontrollably. In America, taxes have been on the rise just to pay for Obamacare. Thankfully, Republicans have the answer. They want to repeal and replace Obamacare, and have waiting lists for certain health care treatments to reduce costs even further. For example, one of the first things they want to put in place is a nine month waiting list for abortions.

***

Two men were working for the city Public Works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, up and down the streets of Niagara Falls, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick.'”

***

No wonder he won.

During the campaign of successful New York State Assembly candidate, Angelo Morinello, a voter approached him who didn’t seem quite fond of the retired judge, telling him, “I’ll vote for the Devil rather than you.”

Morinello, never at a loss for a comeback, replied, “I understand you perfectly, sir, but would you consider voting for me in the event that your friend chooses not to run?”

devil

***

“Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and be dumb enough to think it’s important.”
– Eugene McCarthy,┬ápolitician & poet

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