Niagara Falls Jokes

Gov. Cuomo was staying at the posh new Hotel Niagara and was about to go to sleep when there was a knock at his door. It turned out to be a pretty maid who told him, “I’ve come to turn down your bed,” to which the guv replied, “You wouldn’t be the first!”

***

A kid walks up to another kid at a Niagara Falls playground and tells him, “My daddy can beat up your daddy.”

The other kid replies, “Really? When?”

***

“I thought those people next door were drug dealers,” says a guy to his friend as they were sitting on their 19th Street porch drinking craft beers at one o’clock in the afternoon, “but it turns out, they’re Boy Scouts.”

“Really?” his companion asked. “How do you know that?”

“Because they were doing their good deed for the day,” he said. “Several of them were helping their friend into the trunk of his limo.”

***

The young Niagara Falls man says to his father, “I want to get married.”

The man replies, “All right, son, who do you want to marry?”

The son said, “I want to marry Maria from next door.”

Dad says, “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s your half sister. Don’t tell your mother.”

A little put out, the young man comes up with his second choice: “Well then, I want to marry Wendy from down the street.”

“You can’t marry her, either,” his  dad said, “She’s also your half-sister. What can I say, I get around.”

A bit despondent over his diminished options, he was wandering around when his mother noticed his downcast mood and asked her son what the matter was.

“Well, I said to Dad that I wanted to marry Maria and he said I can’t because she’s my half-sister, so I said all right then I’ll marry Wendy and he said you can’t do that either because she’s also your half-sister.”

She said, “Look, you marry whichever one you like. He’s not your father anyway.”

***

A few months ago the headlines read: “Doctors announce First-Ever Baby Born With DNA From Three People.”

Seriously?  We know Niagara Falls baby daddies who made that scientific breakthrough years ago.