Niagara Falls Mayor Paul A. Dyster was relaxing one evening with some craft beers when he remembered he had neglected to let the dog back in from the cold evening. Beer in hand, the mayor walks out onto his porch, his foot hits a patch of ice and down he goes.
Winner’s story: “Oh God, I’m pregnant, I wonder who did it.”
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A drunk staggers out of a Niagara Falls bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, “Dude, I’m Jesus Christ!” And the priest says, “No son, you’re not.” So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!” Then the priest says, “No son, you’re not.” Finally, the drunk had enough and said, “Here, I’ll prove it.” He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, “Jesus Christ, you’re back AGAIN?”
***
Two elected Democrats, one from Manhattan and one from Niagara Falls, were sitting outside at a nudist colony discussing big government and socialism. The Manhattan senator asked: “Have you read Marx?” The Niagara Falls council member replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
