City Hall Jokes

How non transparent was the city’s sale of the Chilton Avenue house? It was so non transparent that even Mark Hamister complained about it.

There’s no truth to the rumor that Dyster and Piccirillo wrote the legal notice for the sale of the Chilton Avenue house using invisible ink.

Seth Piccirillo’s new theme for the marketing of distressed city houses was borrowed from the NYS Lottery’s “A Dollar and a Dream” campaign. Seth’s calling his “Five hundred dollars and a scheme.”

Question: How are the Dyster administration fair bidding process and Sasquatch alike?
Answer: Neither one has ever been seen.

Go figure. In Paul Dyster’s city hall $500 can get you 90 minutes with the mayor’s favorite law firm, Hodgson and Russ, or a Chilton Avenue home worth $48,000. Take your pick.

Political dictionary
RFP – known as a request for proposal in the real world it’s a properly announced call for offers to be made on public property or projects. In the Dyster administration an RFP is something to be kept virtually secret for fear it will attract attention from the general public. City hall insiders say that a Dyster RFP stands for Rewarding Friendly People.

Mayor Dyster bristled at the suggestions that the Chilton Avenue sale was anything less than completely transparent, saying, “I want everyone to know that we conducted that sale just like we’ve conducted all of our administration business since 2008.” Exactly Mr. Mayor, exactly.

What’s the first thing Mayor Dyster said when he was told the city now owned Dr. Mehta’s five downtown buildings? “Seth, get the Gazette on the phone! We have to place five postage stamp sized announcements for bidders.”

Andy, we hardly know you but we didn’t forget you.
Question: What’s Andy Touma’s favorite song?
Answer: “‘Walk on’ by” by Dionne Warwick.