Parking Signs Aren't Funny

Last week the city of Niagara Falls announced it put up signs warning of thieves and for tourists to lock their doors and hide their valuables.

To this we add some other fine ideas the Dyster administration is considering for downtown:

Eat your vegetables

Respect your elders

Practice safe sex

Look before crossing

Employees must wash their hands and,

Make sure you ride the Maid of the Mist

Saying it a different way:

"Welcome to Niagara Falls: secure your valuables, lock up your women and don't talk to strangers!"

We hear John Percy hired former Bills coach Marv Levy to do Niagara Falls tourism promotion spots with the theme of: "Where would you rather be robbed and beaten than right here right now?"

The Dyster administration has worked it's magic once again…the new signs instantly turned four million annual visitors into daredevils.

Image is everything:

New York City – "The Big Apple"

San Francisco – "The City by the Bay"

Niagara Falls – "Criminals, Thieves and Sex Offenders, oh my!"

There are plenty of robberies taking place in the downtown parking lots. But that's not to be confused with the non-stop thievery occurring in the New York State Park.

Downtown crime is relative…a tourist can have a gun stuck in their face and be robbed instantly or they can visit the State Park and be robbed within the hour.

Dyster's new anti crime sign is only the beginning…the mayor and the Seneca are cooperating on a billboard that reads: "Don't get robbed in the parking lot when you can get robbed at Seneca Niagara!"