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AUGUST 25 - SEP 01, 2015

City Hall Jokes

AUGUST 25, 2015

Question: How many people does it take to change a scoreboard light bulb in Sal Maglie Stadium?

Answer: Scoreboard light bulbs are never changed in Sal Maglie Stadium.

Someone should tell Paul Dyster that there’s no lying in baseball. We all know he chased the Niagara Power out of town.

Vote for Dyster! The mayor has brought cricket, kayaks and low income housing to town. Now if he can just get running water in LaSalle, do something about the crime, close the $7.6 million budget gap and find the missing millions the state Comptroller wrote about, we’ll be all set.

Political dictionary

Mayor’s air quality panel: a 40-member board appointed by the mayor to investigate the foul downtown odor that has plagued the city for years but now, three weeks before the Primary, suddenly needs remediation.

The bumper sticker we’d like to see. “The city is broke, the water doesn’t run in the winter, the garbage doesn’t get picked up, and the casino cash is gone! Re-elect Paul Dyster...Not!”

“Hey you kids, you better vote for me or I’ll toss you out of here!” Dyster throwing his weight around at the Hyde Park golf course.

Last week John Ceretto held a press conference to announce that he was switching from Republican to Democrat after having switched from Democrat to Republican several years ago. Apparently this was a pretty important political event. How important? So important that Mayor Dyster and his secretary, Nick Melson, used city time to attend the daytime press conference at the IBEW hall.

“So what am I chopped liver?” The ghost of Luther Jayne remarking as to how Paul Dyster failed to replace the missing plaque in Jayne Park honoring Mr. Jayne while the mayor put his own name on a sign in Jayne Park.

Saint John the Evangelist, the author of the Book of Revelation in the New Testament, has nothing on Mayor Paul Dyster. While on the Darro show last Wednesday the mayor, outrageously said, “I have a difficult time running this city because I have to deal with the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse: gangs, guns and drugs!” Yes, my friends, he actually said that.

We interrupt these jokes to bring you a, “hmm that’s funny” item as opposed to the usual, “ha-ha, that’s funny” joke. It seems there’s some significant confusion in city hall as to how the Isaiah 61 program administrators have been getting paid. More to come at a later date.

Reader’s quiz:

Mayor Dyster’s job as mayor is extremely difficult due to:

a) Drugs
b) Gangs
c) Guns
d) All of the above







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Tony Hawks Extensive Line of Retail Fits Perfectly With Spohn Ranch Business Plan
Skateboard Gurus Hawk, Spohn Absolved Of Liability For Injuries at New Park Here
Lack of Open Meetings at BOE Could Result in Lawsuit Here
City Finances Must be De-Constructed Before Re-Structured by State Board
Dyster Sees the Light on 72nd Street As Reelection Woes Continue to Mount
Dyster Launches Attack Ads Against Rival Choolokian in Primary Race
Reporter Knew Cause of 72nd St. Problem 19 Months Ago, Dyster Finally Catches On
Paul Dyster Doesn’t Know How to Say No, and For That he Wants the Voters to Say Yes to his Re-election
Grandinetti Remains Quiet of Facebook Loyalty to Her Master Dyster Overrides Ego
Support Niagara’s Veterans Memorial Park
Kane Cooperating in Rape Probe, Sources Say
Despite Crisis, State Audit of ECC Still Not Done
More Asbestos in Shaw Bldg. Remediation Than Had Been Imagined, Admitted To
Dice Run Will Aid Western NY Heroes
Ceretto: Prodigal Son or Judas Iscariot?
Why is DelMonte Upset by Latest News About Ceretto?
Memorial Announces Premier 2016 Co-Chairs
Candidates Round-Up for This Election Season Dyster’s Not the Only One Fighting for His Political Life
Only in NT - We're Mad as Hell and Won't Take it Anymore!
Lewiston Highway Superintendent Announces Reelection Bid Explains his Approach to Managing Roads For Safety, Efficiency
Donald Trump for President of the United States
What a Difference Early Cancer Screenings Can Make
Letters to the Editor
City Should Regulate Property Management Companies
Niagara County Legislator Candidates Calls Out to LaSalle Residents
Rally in Bainbridge to Push for Upstate New York Seceding From Socialist NYC What part of Shall Not Be Infringed don't you understand?
Town & Village Taxpayers Left Holding The Bag
Reporter Article Fails to Accurately Pinpoint Blame For Lewiston Finance Woes
We, The Taxpayers, Must Get Out and Vote for GLENN CHOOLOKIAN for Mayor on September 10th OR Suffer Four More Years of Mayor Dyster’s Out of Control Spending & Continuous Tax Increases
City Hall Jokes

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©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina