The Dyster administration announced a tremendous drop in crime reports across the city due to the use of a $50 piece of crime fighting equipment. It’s called a paper shredder.
There’s no truth to the rumor that crime reports are now being written with disappearing ink.
Vince Anello recently informed his radio show listeners that one of his friends wants to see the new train station named, Suspension Bridge Train Station. We think Suspension of Disbelief Train Station would be more appropriate.
Train station for the 21st century? Hey, Mayor Dyster, 1856 phoned. They want their mode of transportation back.
A mutual thought bubble above the head of Paul Dyster and Tom DeSantis.
“Rats! They finally figured us out $45 million later. Everyone knows we don’t have a clue of how to pay for the operation and maintenance of the train station.”
Councilman Ezra Scott released a statement explaining his support for the mayor’s veto of the council resolution that would have ended free health insurance for future council members. Mr. Scott said, “We must keep the free health insurance in place, so good government can set the pace.”
City hall announced plans to develop “a business development ring” near the train station. Plans call for three immediate start up businesses: a button hook factory, a hoop skirt emporium and a feed store.
We hear Mayor Dyster is outraged at accusations that his administration is spending taxpayer casino revenue at an ever increasing rate. The mayor weighed in, saying, “We aren’t wasting the casino revenue at an increasing rate. We’re wasting it at the usual rate.”
Answer: The Niagara Falls Intermodal Stagecoach Hub.
Question: What’s the next project on the Dyster-DeSantis drawing board?
Why does Mayor Dyster have such an abnormal obsession with trains?
Rumor has it that he is on the NO-FLY list.
