Niagara Falls has too many:
A) confused politicians
B) cats
C) rats
D) consultants
E) all of the above
Question: why is Jimmy Szwedo's political opinion like the weather?
Answer: if you don't like it just wait a day and it'll change.
Some people call Mr. Szwedo, Jimmy, some call him James, Mayor Dyster calls him "my newest best friend."
The mysteries keep piling up at city hall. We still don't know where the missing $1.4 million went as reported by the State Comptroller. How can a city with 60,000 cats possibly have a rat problem? And how could the Democratic voters give Mayor Dyster a primary win after he raised their taxes, froze their water lines, and spent $90 million of their casino taxpayer dollars!
Signs of the Dyster end times?
Dyster won the primary and then: the SPCA made the shocking claim that the city had more cats than people, a dead man was found in the park bleachers across the street from the Gazette, and a tourist was tragically swept over the falls near Prospect Point.
When Paul Dyster was told that the city had a serious problem with 60,000 feral cats, he paused, thought for a moment, and said, "If only those cats could vote for me!"
"The voters kind of, sort of, almost, nearly, barely, like me!"
Paul "landslide" Dyster after the absentee ballots were counted
Residents of 72nd Street start your
calendars! Your mayor promised to begin
work on your water lines by October 1
and have it completed by November. We
don't know whether to laugh, cry, or cut
to the chase and say "We told you so."