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Niagara Falls Jokes

When the town of Wheatfield applied to Assemblyman John Ceretto’s office for state aid, his response was “Go jump off a Cliffe.”


There’s a new drinking game that’s taking place at Apple Granny’s on Center Street in Lewiston – you do a shot every time John Ceretto switches political parties.


We heard John Ceretto is having flashbacks to the Flip Wilson’s sketch in the ’60’s TV show “Laugh In”: “Here come da Judge! Here come da Judge!”


A local non-profit had never received any state aid from John Ceretto, so they called the Assemblyman. “We would like a share of some of the taxpayer dollars that you recycle from Albany back to the community” they asked him. “Can you help us?”

Ceretto replied, “Did you know that there are more poor people per capita in Niagara Falls than anywhere else in the state?”

“Um, no,” was the reply.

“… or that Niagara County suffers from one of the highest rates of taxation in the nation?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said Ceretto, “if I didn’t direct any government spending to those problems, why would I give any money to you?”

“Well… because it’s good for John Ceretto?”

“Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” chuckled the Assemblyman.


Ceretto aide Rob Nichols, whose leaked emails revealed the seamier side of John Ceretto’s political dealings last week, previously worked in the Information Technology field for decades before joining the Assemblyman’s staff. After election day, he’ll undoubtedly be looking to work again in the same field for some lucky corporation that wants to read its most embarrassing internal emails in the pages of the Buffalo News and the Gazette. No joke here, except for Nichol’s rankly amateurish attempts at politics on behalf of Assemblyman Ceretto.

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