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Restaino’s “Events Center” Pipe Dream Should Be Named After Him

The city needs the right name for Restaino's legacy to himself.

Mayor Robert Restaino wants to build a taxpayer-funded events center. He does not yet have the funding or land. But we understand the principle behind his effort, and we want to support it by proposing some better, more accurate names than his preferred one: Centennial Park.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Majestic Amphitheater at Liberty Commons.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Regal Sports Dome at Millennium Green.

The Esteemed Mayor Robert Restaino Celebration Center at Pioneers’ Park.

The Splendid Mayor Robert Restaino Athletic Grounds at Independence Field.

The Honorable Mayor Robert Restaino’s Illustrious Performance Hall at Destiny Gardens.

The Renowned Mayor Robert Restaino Championship Arena at Unity Meadows.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Supreme Mini Convention Center at Honor Court.

The Exalted Mayor Robert Restaino Sports Complex at Triumph Park.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Noble Playhouse at Serenity Grove.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Stately Theater at Prosperity Plaza.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Resplendent Coliseum at Harmony Fields.

The Prominent Mayor Robert Restaino Entertainment Dome at Legacy Landing.

Mayor Robert Restaino’s Radiant Showcase Grounds at Victory Gardens.

The Eminent Mayor Robert Restaino Athletic Palace at Century Gardens.

But if Mayor Restaino’s vision does not transpire, likely due to the increasing odds of his defeat by Dr. Carl Cain in the election, then the Niagara Digital Center will be built.

Cain told the Reporter that his first priority is safe streets, and for that matter passable streets. Dr. Cain noted that crime has skyrocketed, and the road conditions are atrocious, and this should be the city’s top priorities.

Mayor Restaino cities the vital need for concerts and sports events.

He has mentioned how Centennial Park [the Mayor Robert Restaino Prestigious Arena?] will help cement his friendship with the sovereign Seneca Nation, which is freed from the heavy obligations of paying city, county and state taxes.

If the stadium is built with taxpayer funds, and people go to concerts there, Centennial Park [the Honorable Mayor Robert Restaino Elite Arena at Valiant Green?] will enhance Seneca casino and hotel businesses, since the location will afford Seneca commercial properties spillover traffic.

Unmentioned but of equal benefit is that win or lose, built or not, the Celebrated Mayor Robert Restaino Commemorative Stadium at Visionary Park will bring revenue to the Buffalo law firm he retained to sue NFR to take their land so he can build.

Of course, if is not built the city taxpayers will not get the opportunity to pay for all the amenities Restaino plans for his combination park and mini stadium.

.Mayor Restaino’s Royal Promenade Walkway.

The Restaino Grandstand Overlook Terrace.

Mayor Restaino’s Magnificent Family Picnic Area.

The Restaino Regal Children’s Playground.

Mayor Restaino’s Splendid Water Fountain Plaza.

Mayor Restaino’s Majestic Multi-sport Turf Field.

Mayor Restaino’s Illustrious Basketball Pavilion.

The Restaino Noble Botanical Gardens.

Mayor Restaino’s Grand Outdoor Concert Stage.

The Restaino Celebrated Memorial Sculpture Garden.

Mayor Restaino’s Prestigious Community Meeting Hall.

The Restaino Distinguished VIP Rooftop Beer Garden Lounge.

Mayor Restaino’s Resplendent Baseball Diamond.

The Restaino Eminent Skating Rink.

Mayor Restaino’s Radiant Amphitheater.

The Restaino Stately Golf Driving Range.

The Restaino Renowned Gourmet Food Court.

Mayor Restaino’s Palatial Suite Boxes.

Mayor Restaino’s Sumptuous Fishing Pond.

The Restaino Exalted Nature Trails.

The Golden Restaino Unicorn Petting Zoo…

And so much more.

An artist’s rendering of Mayor Restaino with a unicorn at his proposed petting zoo

 

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