This Week in Stupid Crime

Attempted robbery here

A clerk at Consumer Beverage on Niagara Falls Boulevard was confronted by a striking looking woman who tried to rob her one night last week, police said. The suspect, a white woman around 25 years old, who stood about 5 feet 8 inches tall, weighed around 150 and was wearing an unzipped black hoodie over a pink T shirt, stood out because of her hair, the cashier said, which was dyed in various shades of pink and red and black.

"Can I help you?" the cashier asked.

"Yeah. Give me all the money in the register," the woman replied.

The cashier chuckled. A little joke, she thought. But when she looked up and saw the woman's steely gaze, she knew that no humor had been intended.

"Give me the money and I won't hurt you," the woman said. The cashier began fumbling with the buttons on the cash register, stalling for time and hoping her co-worker would come out from the back room.

Finally, a customer walked through the door. The cashier yelled.

"Call the police!" she cried.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" asked the pink, red and black haired suspect, as she began to walk out the door.

The cashier followed the suspect, watching her walk around the corner and on to 71st Street. It is unknown whether a vehicle was waiting for her or she simply walked away, police said.

The cashier told cops that the woman seemed extremely calm during the attempted robbery, as though she had done it many times before. Police said video surveillance footage taken at the time was too grainy to be able to make out the suspect's facial features, but it doesn't seem like she should be too hard to find.

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Shoplifter has sweet tooth

A Little Debbie's cherry pie sitting on the shelf of Tops Friendly Market on Portage Road was enough to set Willie Henderson, also known as Sam Henderson, of 15thStreet off on a criminal quest.

Henderson lifted the cherry pie and a piece of cake as well. He passed all points of purchase and was on his way to the parking lot when the loss prevention specialists detained him.

Police took him to their Main Street headquarters for processing and he will answer a charge of petite larceny at a later date in City Court.

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Statues stolen here

Police were called to the Econo Lodge on Rainbow Boulevard, where the owner told them that three "life sized" statues, one depicting an elephant, had been stolen from a locked trailer in the parking lot, where he had been storing them for the past 12 years.

The owner said he called around to various local scrap yards in an attempt to find his statues, but found them to be uncooperative. A video surveillance camera covering the parking lot had been pointed up toward the sky shortly before the heist, he said.

The brass statues, valued at $10,000, were very heavy and it would take three men to carry one, the owner said.

Police said they found no sign of forced entry, and an investigation is continuing.