Police Blotter

Lawbreaker: A youthful Barrack Obama smokes a doobie but was not arrested for the act.

Space does not permit a recounting of all the high crimes and misdemeanors that occurred in Niagara Falls last week. But here are a few that occasioned people to call upon the Niagara Falls police. While some may seem silly or trivial, they were, at the time the person placed the call to police, a matter of utmost urgency.

House Guest Disappears With Possessions

A woman returned to her home on Center Avenue after a 4th of July holiday outing only to find that her house guest Donald A. Martin Jr, 44, was missing. Missing also was the woman's Emerson microwave, her gas grill, a DVD/VCR player and $679 from her food stamp and benefit card.

A thief stole not only from her, but from taxpayers who work hard to pay taxes in order to feed her.

Putting two and two together, the victim believes the theft may have been done by her missing houseguest, Martin, who is described as a 5-foot-7-inch white male, and somewhat underweight at 130 pounds. With her gas grill, microwave and $679 in food stamps, if he is not apprehended first, he should be able to put on a little weight.

JULY 6

Vandal With A Scandal

A property on the 3000 block of D Street was vandalized in a scandalous way, at least for people of this city named Jen. The homeowner reported her fence was spray painted with the words, "Jen Smokes Pot."

The homeowner said no one named Jen lives in her house and, as far as she knows, no one who lives close to the house is named Jen. Police are investigating the incident and have no suspects at this time. If there is anyone named Jen who smokes pot in the area, would you kindly come forward and tell police who else knows that you smoke pot, so police could narrow down the suspects to a reasonable number.

JULY 7

Bad Stripe

Police responded to another spray painting incident Sunday at the 800 block of 16th Street. This time it was an automobile. The motives of the perpetrator remain unclear. A red 1998 Chevy Tahoe - an SUV type vehicle - was spray painted with a black stripe while parked outside the owner's apartment. The owner's son said he parked the car at around 2 a.m. the night before and the black stripe appeared sometime between then and 11 a.m. when the lad went out to use the vehicle. While some Chevy Tahoes do indeed have black stripes, this particular vandal had an unsteady hand and it did not, by all accounts, add anything advantageous to the look of the vehicle, nor did it appear anything like the factory painted stripes.

Improper Use of Baseball Bat

Police apprehended a man for swinging a baseball bat at or near his neighbor's head around midnight Sunday on the 1000 block of Haeberle Avenue. They were not playing baseball.

According to Charles Bailor, he was having a verbal tussle with his neighbor Steven Willard. Willard on the other hand said Bailor was using his fists to emphasize his verbal arguments.

In the midst of this, Willard's friend, 19-year-old Cameron A. Paul, intervened as he emerged from his house carrying a baseball bat.

According to Bailor, Paul came toward him and swung the bat at him twice, saying, "I'm going to knock your head off," an inducement that immediately persuaded Bailor to end his argument with Willard.

A witness told police she heard Paul cry, "I don't care if I go back to jail. I'll be getting free cable."

Paul was arrested for second degree menacing and it is hoped he can enjoy the baseball season on cable at the Niagara County jail.

Victimless Criminal

A 17-year-old Niagara Falls resident was arrested for possession of marijuana. His name was not Jen.

Police seized 25.4 grams of the illegal weed - about enough for about 30 doobies - from Joshua David Cessna-Carter, who was riding in an orange Dodge Charger. The weed was found in the passenger door handle and glove compartment, as well as on his person. Opened bottles containing a purple liquid were also seized from the vehicle and sent for testing.

In this day and age it is amazing that people are still being arrested for possessing a plant and it is hoped that if this case (and all cases like it) goes to trial that at least one member of the jury practices jury nullification and votes "not guilty" and thereby hangs the jury in order that government gets the message that possessing a plant is not a crime, since there is no victim. Jurors regularly practiced jury nullification during alcohol prohibition and forced the government to repeal prohibition since juries refused to put people in jail for possessing alcohol.

She Only Wanted to be Clean

A 45-year-old black woman was arrested for stealing nothing less than $46 worth of soap and laundry detergent Sunday afternoon from The Dollar General on 1802 Pine Ave. An alert Dollar General employee said she saw the woman take the merchandise and hide them under her fashionable, but unwashed and admittedly dirty windbreaker, and then skedaddle out of the store, looking visibly plumper.

According to police, Andrea Ilene Jordan was apprehended with four bars of soap and six Tide Pod packages in her possession.

While police confiscated the stolen cleaning products from Jordan, county taxpayers will be pleased to provide her with a bar of soap at the county jail for her bathing needs and a prison jumpsuit nicely laundered before being issued to her.

JULY 9

Like Those Dollar Stores

A black female shoplifted an estimated $50 worth of merchandise from Family Dollar on Hyde Park Boulevard Tuesday afternoon.

And in case you too are thinking of doing a little shoplifting there, please be advised that they have cameras. Security footage showed a middle-aged black female with a shopping cart full of unpaid items heading out the door. A female store clerk attempted to stop the thief, later identified as Deon Lorese Johnson, 46, but Johnson pushed right past her, using the shopping cart as a clear all. Johnson has been charged with petit larceny.

Bush Attack

A 21-year-old white male was apprehended for vandalizing a 78th street property while appearing under the influence of a mind-bending drug, most likely alcohol.

Tyler James Rowland has been charged with trespassing and criminal mischief in the fourth degree. Police found him shirtless and tearing up live bushes at a stranger's house at around 7:30 a.m. last Tuesday.

When questioned, Rowland told police that his mother dropped him off at her friend's house to help him move and landscape. The victim said he had never seen Rowland before and pressed charges.

He Likes Beer

Police initially noticed Donald E. Bracikowski, 56, in his car after he disobeyed a stop sign, failed to signal and made an improper right turn at around 2:30 a.m. last Tuesday between 72nd Street and Girard Avenue. Police turned on their lights indicating for him to stop; Bracikowski chose initially to disobey that also. He drove on for a while, perhaps oblivious. Police caught up with him at 614 70th St.

A test of his blood alcohol content showed he was well past the legal limit, registering at 0.198. Bracikowksi told police he had no idea how his alcohol level was so high unless it was the eight beers he consumed at the Wagon Wheel Restaurant on Niagara Falls Boulevard in Niagara Falls.

A-holes in town

A Niagara Falls mother woke up to a loud banging noise at around 2:30 a.m. at her home on Willow Avenue. Upon investigating, she discovered her downstairs living room, dining room, kitchen and bedroom windows had been broken.

Meantime, an alert neighbor called police and told them she saw three black males in dark hoodies breaking the windows. Police are investigating the incident.

Drunken A-hole

At 10:30 p.m., David Gerald Grimaldi, 45, was arrested for harassing customers at Dairy Queen on Niagara Street. According to Dairy Queen employees, Grimaldi was belligerent and screaming at patrons, which prompted them to call police.

When police arrived, they found Grimaldi nearby, sitting outside at the corner of Niagara and 24th Streets, drinking an alcoholic beverage wrapped in a plastic bag.

Grimaldi was not arrested, but issued an appearance ticket for restricted use of alcohol and told to move along.

JULY 10

Grimaldi again

After annoying customers at the Diary Queen the night before, David Gerald Grimaldi again attracted police attention when they were called to the 1100 block of Main Street and there charged Grimaldi with disorderly conduct. Among the deeds Grimaldi allegedly did to earn the charge was to use foul language and harass a woman at her residence while attempting to enter her yard where he was most certainly not welcome.

Police said Grimaldi was in a state of intoxication and apparently annoyed with police for interfering with his nightly drunken bullying. Grimaldi threatened to do bodily harm to the officers as he was promptly handcuffed and transported by police car to the Niagara Falls City jail where he e, one of the parties involved in the online argument, brought five carloads - about 30 people - to 18th Street, initiating the fight, which Maye apparently felt would be more efficacious than merely Tweeting arguments back and forth.

Police found four women stabbed or pepper sprayed. Two of the victims reported having trouble breathing. Two of the victims were treated at the Erie County Medical Center, one was sent to Niagara Falls Memorial Hospital and one was treated at the scene. This case is under investigation.

JULY 11

Fancy Bike Stolen

A luxury sport bike was stolen from a 21st Street garage Thursday afternoon. When the victim came home, he reported that his garage door was open and his grey, 19-inch, 20-speed Jamis Citizen 2 bicycle was missing. The bike is valued at around $500. Police are investigating the burglary.

Now She Knows Her ABC's

Thirty-five-year-old Natalie G. Sterns, a Niagara Falls resident, was driving far too close to the car ahead of her Thursday evening and was pulled over by police.

Police said they had to repeatedly ask Sterns for her license, registration and insurance card before she seemed able to comprehend and comply. She was given multiple roadside sobriety tests, which she failed. After the English-speaking Sterns was unable to recite the alphabet in order, she was charged with DWI and for tailgating, which is something you usually don't see many tickets issued for.

Attacked with a boxcutter

Police responded to a report of an attack between 11 and 11:45 p.m. Thursday outside the Niagara Falls Memorial Medical Center.

Three victims were apparently walking in the 600 block of 19th Street when two black males, one of whom, Deon Thorton, approached them in a less than friendly fashion. According to the victims, Thorton swung a boxcutter at one of the victims multiple times, cutting the left side of the victim's nose and the area above his left eye. The victim was treated at Memorial's emergency room.

The other two victims were uninjured.