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Mayor Dyster and the Art of Inebriation:
A True Suds Masterpiece

By Moose, Jr.

Art School

Mayor Paul Dyster’s annual gift of public money to the NACC was cut short this year by a taxpayer-friendly city council, in part because a sizeable chunk of the money each year went to the Mayor’s “Art of Beer” celebration.

Am I the only one who sees the value of the Niagara Arts and Cultural Center helping the mayor promote beer as art?

The mayor’s idea of micro managing is called micro brewing.

Art creates permanent treasures that invigorate the mind, but when you create the mayor’s art, all you have left are suds.

When the mayor thinks of world art, he thinks of Heineken, Guinness, Harp and Corona.

When art lovers enjoy art, they undergo an aesthetic experience that rivets the mind and enhances the human condition. When they enjoy the mayor’s art, they lose their minds and enhance the urinal.

The mayor’s slogan for his art program: “The only thing wasted is you.”

The Gin Mill: where the mayor’s starving artists meet to create their best works.

The mayor’s art is so fickle, the artists can’t remember which piece of art they liked best.

The mayor has invented a new crime: DWA (driving while artistic).

The mayor’s art collection is in his fridge.

The great thing about the mayor’s art is that the artist needs very little training to be successful.

A great thing about the mayor’s art is that there is a museum on nearly every corner open for art lessons daily until 2 a.m.

The mayor’s art is so moving that practicing artists sometimes slur their words and fall down in joy.

According to the mayor, art should not only be seen and admired, it should be ingested and expelled.

You just don’t buy the mayor’s art, you rent it.

Helpful to the environment, the mayor’s art is fully recyclable.

Friday night eight o’clock -- at the mayor’s house for art lessons.

When our mayor thinks of art, he does not think of Picasso or Monet, he thinks of Budweiser and Moonshine.

What rhymes with Dyster? Why, Beermeister of course!

Mayor Dyster brings new meaning to the phrase: “artsy-fartsy.”

Let’s get artistic, in here!

The Art Of Wine

And in the autumn, when you gather the grapes of your vineyard for the winepress, say in your heart,
“I too am a vineyard, and my fruit shall be gathered for the winepress,

And like new wine I shall be kept in eternal vessels”.

And in winter, when you draw the wine, let there be in your heart a song for each cup.

And let there be in the song a remembrance for the autumn days, and for the vineyard, and for the winepress.

- Kahlil Gibran



Niagara Falls Reporter - Publisher Frank Parlato Jr. www.niagarafallsreporter.com

Jan 29 , 2013