|Following Voltaire's advice?
The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out.
I went to Mayor Dyster’s state of the city presentation.
I was enjoying myself. Then he began to speak.
The Mayor’s speech was as exciting as home movies.
The Mayors speech was so dull they had Red Bull vendors there.
It was speech fit for insomniacs.
The Mayor literally kept his audience on the edge of their seats. Not because they were interested, but because they were trying to get up the nerve to leave.
Some things are better kept short… rectal exams and mayoral political speeches readily come to mind.
During the speech, the following figures were referenced …one of these is not like the others in that it just doesn't belong:
Actually, at times, I could not hear much of Dyster’s speech - because of the loud snoring.
But Dyster burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally, one of the listeners hurled a rock at him. It missed, and hit poor council member Sam Fruscione instead. As the councilman slid slowly to the floor clutching his head, he was heard to murmur, "Hit me again, I can still hear him."
They say the mayor is blessed with a golden tongue. Unfortunately, he left it in his other pants.
In any event, the Mayor concluded his speech with a funny, “I hope you enjoyed my speech and, if you did not, I hope you had a good nap.”
Few people in the audience were awake at the time to appreciate his humor.
In any event, I know the mayor is a great speaker. I can say that because, as soon as he sat down, people said it was the best thing he’d ever done.