Niagara Falls Jokes

Share with:

FacebookTwitterGoogleTumblrLinkedInRedditPinterestEmail this pagePrint this page


Gov. Cuomo was staying at the posh new Hotel Niagara and was about to go to sleep when there was a knock at his door. It turned out to be a pretty maid who told him, “I’ve come to turn down your bed,” to which the guv replied, “You wouldn’t be the first!”

***

A kid walks up to another kid at a Niagara Falls playground and tells him, “My daddy can beat up your daddy.”

The other kid replies, “Really? When?”

***

“I thought those people next door were drug dealers,” says a guy to his friend as they were sitting on their 19th Street porch drinking craft beers at one o’clock in the afternoon, “but it turns out, they’re Boy Scouts.”

“Really?” his companion asked. “How do you know that?”

“Because they were doing their good deed for the day,” he said. “Several of them were helping their friend into the trunk of his limo.”

***

The young Niagara Falls man says to his father, “I want to get married.”

The man replies, “All right, son, who do you want to marry?”

The son said, “I want to marry Maria from next door.”

Dad says, “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s your half sister. Don’t tell your mother.”

A little put out, the young man comes up with his second choice: “Well then, I want to marry Wendy from down the street.”

“You can’t marry her, either,” his  dad said, “She’s also your half-sister. What can I say, I get around.”

A bit despondent over his diminished options, he was wandering around when his mother noticed his downcast mood and asked her son what the matter was.

“Well, I said to Dad that I wanted to marry Maria and he said I can’t because she’s my half-sister, so I said all right then I’ll marry Wendy and he said you can’t do that either because she’s also your half-sister.”

She said, “Look, you marry whichever one you like. He’s not your father anyway.”

***

A few months ago the headlines read: “Doctors announce First-Ever Baby Born With DNA From Three People.”

Seriously?  We know Niagara Falls baby daddies who made that scientific breakthrough years ago.

Share with:

FacebookTwitterGoogleTumblrLinkedInRedditPinterestEmail this pagePrint this page


36 Comments

  1. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added”
    checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
    Cheers!

  2. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you, However I am going
    through issues with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot subscribe to it.
    Is there anyone else getting similar RSS issues?
    Anyone who knows the solution can you kindly respond? Thanx!!

  3. Greetings from California! I’m bored to tears at work so I
    decided to browse your blog on my iphone
    during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get
    home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, excellent site!

  4. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add
    to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
    I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some
    time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  5. Hi, I do believe this is an excellent site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I
    may return once again since i have bookmarked it.
    Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help
    others.

  6. Hello! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group?

    There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content.
    Please let me know. Thank you

  7. Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of
    this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of
    times it’s very hard to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appeal.
    I must say you have done a superb job with this.
    Also, the blog loads super quick for me on Chrome.
    Excellent Blog!

  8. Hi there exceptional blog! Does running a blog like this take a massive amount
    work? I’ve no knowledge of computer programming however I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future.

    Anyway, should you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share.
    I understand this is off topic nevertheless I just had to ask.
    Kudos!

  9. I am extremely inspired with your writing talents as well as with the layout on your
    weblog. Is this a paid subject or did you customize it your self?

    Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to
    peer a great weblog like this one these days..

  10. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I do think that you need to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people don’t speak about such topics.
    To the next! All the best!!

  11. You could certainly see your skills within the work you write.
    The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe.

    Always go after your heart.

  12. you’re really a good webmaster. The website loading speed is incredible.
    It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a wonderful
    task in this matter!

  13. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a
    variety of websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform.
    I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it?

    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  14. It’s actually a cool and helpful piece of information. I’m
    satisfied that you just shared this useful information with us.
    Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for
    sharing.

  15. Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am inspired!

    Extremely helpful information specifically the closing part :
    ) I take care of such information much. I used to
    be looking for this particular information for a long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  16. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if everyone else experiencing problems with your website.
    It looks like some of the written text on your posts are running off
    the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me
    know if this is happening to them too? This
    may be a problem with my internet browser because I’ve had this happen previously.
    Many thanks

  17. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog thus i came to
    “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to enhance my website!I suppose
    its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.