Sitcoms have been an American staple since the early days of television. From Ralph Kramden to Frasier Crane, we're oftentimes more intimately familiar with the sitcom family on our TV than our actual neighbors next door. The fact that Nickelodeon's TV Land is one of the top-rated cable channels is concrete proof that our love affair with the sitcoms of old is stronger than ever. Who among us, weaned in front of the flickering light of a black-and-white Zenith set, couldn't rattle off, "Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby and Cindy" in response to the question, "What are the names of the Brady kids?"
Part of the fun of enjoying sitcoms is suspending disbelief, accepting for fact things that would never pass muster in the real world -- like Fonzie on water-skis jumping over a shark, still outfitted in his trademark leather jacket.
There are, however, some mysteries of the sitcom world that defy explanation. You can chalk these funny-land oddities up to poor writing, sloppy storyline development or just plain brazen disregard for continuity and the laws of common sense, but you cannot simply dismiss them out of hand.
With that thought in mind, I offer you this list of the "Top 10 Sitcom Miscues and Slip-ups."
10. Your Shift Doesn't Start Until 8 P.M. -- Go Home
"Taxi" was one of the best sitcoms of the late '70s and early '80s. It was a perfect example of top-notch ensemble-cast writing and acting. Judd Hirsh, Danny DeVito, Tony Danza and Andy Kaufman were among the great stable of actors who created timeless characters. There was only one problem with the believability factor of the show. These people were always at the dispatching garage. Whether they were playing cards, listening to each other's problems or talking to agents or boxing promoters -- these hacks were wack. Guys, you're driving cabs for sub-minimum wage and tips. Go home already.
9. The Teacher's Got Four Pets and Only Four
"Welcome Back Kotter" was a surprise hit of the mid-1970s. The show starred Gabe Kaplan playing a new-age teacher returning to his old school to guide a motley bunch of students known as the "Sweathogs." The believability index goes awry when you realize that in a class of roughly 20 students, Kotter only calls on and interacts with four of them -- Epstein, Barbarino, Washington and Horshak. In this class, the remaining 16 are just a silent majority.
8. You Had to Deliver the Baby Without Me, So Sue Me
"The Cosby Show" is credited with saving the sitcom format in the mid-1980s. Cliff and Claire Huxtable were an upper-class African-American couple raising five unique and talented children in Philadelphia. He was an obstetrician. She was a prosecuting attorney. The believability factor goes out the window when you realize that they were always home. With two highly demanding professional careers like that, the first two words the Huxtable kids would have spoken were "latchkey" and "nanny," and you can bet your last "Bacon Burger Dog" on that.
7. I Didn't Know There Were Indians in Venice
"F-Troop" was one of the silliest sitcoms of the 1960s. The show focused on the antics of a cavalry regiment at Fort Courage in post-Civil War days. It's easy to spot the decline of the believability factor here. Just look at the "Indians." There are no authentic Native Americans actors filling any of the roles of the fictitious Hekawi Indian tribe, who interact with the men of F-Troop. In fact, most of the Indians tend to resemble "Sammy the Bull" more than they do "Chief Sitting Bull."
6. It's Spelled Like It's Pronounced, UNNECESSARY
"Barney Miller" was another classic sitcom that featured a dynamic ensemble cast. The detectives of the 12th Precinct arrested a zany array of criminals on the streets of New York weekly. Where does the believability factor go asunder? At the top -- Barney. The character of Capt. Barney Miller is totally unnecessary to the plot of the show. His only purpose in most episodes is to question the detectives on the details of their collars -- information he would receive anyway in their reports -- only to tell them to take the prisoner away and "book him." Must be a Civil Service position.
5. Hey, We Were the Original Ambiguously Gay Duo
"Batman" was a celebration of 1960s camp. Following the exploits of the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder, along with those of their alter-egos, millionaire Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson, the show drew some of Hollywood's top actors onto the small screen to play a bevy of ultra-groovy super-villains. While it can be argued that the believability switch was never turned on for "Batman," the line must be drawn at the labeling of the characters' names on the bat-poles. I guess America just wasn't ready to watch Bruce slide down Dick's pole.
4. Sleeping Single in Two Twin Beds
"The Dick Van Dyke Show" is one of TV Land's most enduring comedies. Following the exploits of a group of writers for the fictitious "Allan Brady Show," the "Dick Van Dyke Show" perfectly blended Van Dyke's physical comedy with Mary Tyler Moore's girl-next-door beauty to produce an infectious winning formula. I'm tempted to say that buying Rose Marie as a desirable lady-in-waiting is where the believability index goes south, but I have to give the nod to the existence of Rob and Laura's son Richie. Obviously, Rob and Laura must have pushed those twin beds together at least once.
3. It's Time for You to Give Up the Top Bunk, Little Buddy
"Gilligan's Island" just may be the unlikeliest hit in sitcom history. The adventures of the seven misfit castaways have never been off the air since its 1960s debut. Again, this is another show where the suspension of disbelief is a prerequisite. Yet there is one issue that pushes the believability factor right into the lagoon. Can anyone of sound mind and body reasonably believe that three romantically challenged losers at love like the Skipper, the Professor and Gilligan would actually want off of an island where they were the only potential mates of Mary Ann and Ginger?
2. I Only Went to College For Four Years, Why Did You Write Me Out of Your Will?
Characters have always left sitcom families. There were two Darrins on "Bewitched," two Lionels on "The Jeffersons," and four different actors who played "My Three Sons." However, no one ever left a show quite the way that the character Chuck exited "Happy Days." You may recall that, in the first season of the program, Howard and Marion Cunningham had three children, daughter Joanie, middle child Richie and oldest son Chuck. Somewhere before the start of the second season, the writers decided that the Chuck character wasn't a good fit and sent him off to college, from whence he never returned. Where the believability factor gets a thumbs down is in an episode years later where Howard is reminding a menopausal Marion of all of the blessings they have. At the top of that list, he mentions "our two children, Richie and Joanie." Ouch! Poor Chuck got no respect. He must have been a Liberal Arts major.
1. A Lesson to Build Upon
When dissecting "The Brady Bunch," it's hard to figure out quite where to start with the abuses of the believability factor. How about the fact that Alice did all of the cooking, cleaning and housework while Mrs. Brady had no job or preschool-aged kids to look after? Maybe you're troubled by the fact that the family dog Tiger disappeared without explanation after the show's first season? Here's what baffles me the most about the Brady clan. The kids sleep three to a bedroom and eventually fight over who will move into the attic for more space, when Mike Brady is an architect. Hello, anyone ever heard of the word, "addition"? I guess they didn't want to build over that beautiful Astroturf in the backyard.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | November 19 2002 |