I think maybe I've been too hard on Mayor Paul Dyster and this "Building a Better Niagara Falls Fund." People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, you know what I mean?
See, it's like this. A while back, our friend Fat Sally from 19th Street called. It was kind of unusual, in that he hardly ever calls us, we usually call him, and that mostly only happens when the "Canadian Kid," Steve Molitor, defends his title, my beloved Indians play the Yankees in the post-season or on the mornings of the various Triple Crown events.
But Sally had a proposition, and we agreed to meet him later that afternoon in a dark North End nightspot I am not at liberty to disclose the name of. Following the usual round of hearty greetings -- I think it was Pops, Johnny D., Uncle Vic and Mario at the bar that day -- we retired to a weathered wooden table in the back room, which is even darker than the front of the place, if you can believe that.
"Look," Sally said. "There's some guys I know and they want to give youse some cash."
"Gosh, Fats," Bruce replied. "Who would want to give us money?"
I never thought Bruce and the mayor had much in common -- Paul's much taller -- but both, it turns out, are trusting sorts who have an optimistic view of human nature that I, much to my regret, am unable to share.
"It's just some guys," Sally continued. "It's better you don't know."
"Those guys from Buffalo?" I inquired.
He shot me a glance. Then he looked up at the ceiling, and then he dropped his cigar on the floor so he could get a look under the table. Then he looked me straight in the eye and nodded without saying a word.
"Let's just say we have donors that are charitably inclined and want to make a difference, but don't want to deal with the recognition," Sally said.
Thinking back on it now, it's almost uncanny how similar the old bookie's words were to those spoken last week by Clotilde Perez-Bode Dedecker, president of the Community Foundation for Greater Buffalo, in comments about that organization's generous gifts to the Dyster administration.
"The dealings between the City of Niagara Falls and this fund are through the foundation," Dedecker said. "There is no donor interface in the transaction."
Yeah, no donor interface. That's the ticket!
But just like Mayor Dyster, we had a problem. Not a problem really, more like an ethical dilemma. Was accepting the money, uh, legal? We didn't want to bother any of our regular attorneys, all of whom are upright citizens and honest as the day is long, so Bruce and I took a drive down to Pennsylvania, where another lawyer we know is currently a resident of the gorgeous federal facility they have there in Allenwood.
You can only see Jimmy the Gent on certain hours of certain days, but he made time in his busy schedule to squeeze us in. He never sends us a bill, but we always make sure to leave a few bucks for him with the guard at the front gate when we leave.
"Sure, why not?" he said. "You just gotta make it clear to them guys that they are not to receive any economic benefits or tangible privileges in return for their money."
It's strange, but that's almost the exact same thing that Tom O'Donnell's city law department told the mayor!
Once we had our legal opinion, the stage was set for the Reporter to enter a new era of economic prosperity, just like the mayor says the city of Niagara Falls is. I must confess to having some misgivings on the day when Fat Sally pushed the crumpled brown paper bag across the table and into our waiting hands, but my concerns evaporated when I looked inside and saw all that cash.
Of course, there was a contract. It involved Bruce having his trigger finger pricked with a pin and then letting Sally burn a San Gennaro card in his cupped hands. But just like the mayor, we aren't at liberty to talk about it.
Nothing much changed after that. Bruce moved into a nicer apartment and I bought a Cadillac. There was that unsolved murder up in North Tonawanda we were looking into until Sally said that certain people would be happy if we stopped looking into it, and I guess that when we ran that picture of the Old Man dressed up like Santa Claus in one of our Christmas ads, some of the donors didn't see the humor, but other than that, we haven't really heard much from them, whoever they are.
I have to admit, though, that I was struck by the mayor's response to a journalist's question about the source of the money he's been throwing around lately.
"I don't know who established the fund," Dyster said. "I have no direct knowledge of that, nor am I trying to find that out."
It's funny, because he's such a smart guy and everything, while I am most definitely not, but he said pretty much the same thing I've been saying for months.
"I don't know, and I don't wanna know," I tell them.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | June 3 2008 |