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A dumb politician can be a lazy newspaperman's best friend and lazy newspapermen throughout the country barely have been able to conceal their glee at the prospect of four years with George W. Bush occupying the White House.
His tendency to mangle the English language and wander, out loud, into the dusty recesses of his own mind will save countless pundits from having to look for something clever to write about. It'll be like having Yogi Berra for president.
Writers in Texas, most notably Molly Ivins, have had Bush to themselves for the past five years. Early on, Ivins and her colleagues realized they had struck the mother lode.
"One word sums up the responsibility of any governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared,'" he told one audience during his first gubernatorial campaign.
In a 1993 interview, Sam Donaldson asked Bush about his habit of saying the wrong thing.
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made," Bush told the incredulous newsman.
While Al Gore claimed education would be a top priority should he be elected president, Bush has clearly done his homework on the subject.
"Quite frankly," he said in a 1995 interview, "teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
The environment is another area where Bush refuses to take a back seat to anyone. Earlier this year, he told reporters, "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
While these verbal pratfalls and more that are sure to come will provide endless fodder for Jay Leno, David Letterman and any number of ink-stained wretches toiling in newsrooms across the country, the Governor himself doesn't think they're all that interesting.
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not have made," he said.
What disappears faster than the promise of no tax increase? The Rob Daly and Rick Lazio bumper stickers on Mayor Irene Elia's car, of course.
The Republican mayor did all she could to support Daly and Lazio, each of whom was slaughtered in the city by their Democratic, female rivals, Francine DelMonte and Hillary Clinton.
While the results of those races weren't announced until late Tuesday night, the mayor arrived for work early Wednesday morning, her car sans any political content.
Speaking of the DelMonte-Daly race, I was reminded election night of something Francine told me a couple months ago at one of the fund-raisers the Democrats threw at the Arterial Lounge on Niagara Street.
Fresh from her successful defense against the Republican-led effort to have her thrown off the Democratic ballot, she was, understandably, more than a little pissed off.
"The first time I ran, it was out of passion," she said. "This time, I almost think it's more out of anger."
Whatever it was, it worked. Sometimes, I guess, anger is better.
The latest victims in what has become a blood feud between Niagara County Democratic Chairman Nick Forster and his Erie County counterpart, Steve Pigeon, were the candidates backed by Forster and company for the state Supreme Court.
Three sitting judges, Paul Crapsi, Sheila DiTullio and Jeanette Ogden, were denied access to basic materials, like Erie County voter lists, and found it difficult to raise money in Buffalo and received inferior positions on the ballot.
Niagara County Democrats backed David Swartz in his unsuccessful bid to oust Pigeon earlier this year and, when you try to kill the king, you'd better make sure you kill the king.
Finally, the irrepressible Andy Ligammari was in good spirits last week despite his rather predictable loss to Sara Sperrazza for county court judge.
You had to practically get on your knees to find the one line Andy was still on following a disastrous primary election, but a few thousand of his friends managed to find it.
Asked about his plans, he said he was getting ready for a run next year against Niagara County Sheriff Tom Beilein!
One thing I always liked about Andy is that sometimes it tough to tell whether or not he's putting you on.