Just one small request after enduring Oakland's 38-17 gutting of the visitors from Buffalo late Sunday afternoon: Could everyone involved with the Bills organization please shut up for a while?
The latest blue, white and redder to sound off, then end up looking like an idiot, was the self-proclaimed "best back" in the National Football League, Willis McGahee.
More than a little full of himself coming off a career-high 143-yard outing against the New York Jets last Sunday, McGahee made his declaration to the media while preparing for the trip west.
Once there, somehow, the 28th-best defense in that same league held The Best Back to 50 yards on 16 carries. And it's not like the Raiders had to sell out against the run to do it, as they harassed Kelly Holcomb all day, sacked him twice and didn't allow a completion longer than 17 yards -- all with half their starting secondary out for half the day.
McGahee wasn't even Buffalo's biggest problem -- his defensive teammates allowed Oakland to move the ball on the ground and through the air with equal ease, abetting the Raiders' 416 yards of total offense. Oakland's running game, ranked 31st out of 32 teams before the Bills arrived, accounted for 162 of those yards.
Funny, but the Bills didn't look anything like the elite defense they purported to be coming into the season and pronounced themselves after stifling the wobbly Houston Texans in the season opener.
Then again, that myth had already been soundly refuted during the three-game losing streak that followed, with Tampa Bay's defenders openly taunting their peers from up north after the game.
A week after letting New York's Curtis Martin run free, they afforded the same consideration to his longtime backup, Lamont Jordan. And if Randy Moss could limp his way past Buffalo's secondary to three key catches and a touchdown, imagine what he would have done if even close to healthy.
Worst of all, when a fourth-quarter stop would have given Buffalo a chance to tie things up, the Bills went into full retreat, surrendering a 10-play, 77-yard drive that ate more than six minutes off the clock. In the interest of consistency, Buffalo subsequently gave up an even longer drive to Oakland's final touchdown. In all, the Bills allowed Oakland to keep the ball for more than 13 of the final 15 minutes.
It's not as if the defense got much support on the other side of the ball, either. After a well-executed 17-play, 82-yard drive to start things off, the Bills stumbled to 128 yards the rest of the way. It was interesting to see how much Holcomb looked like a career backup when McGahee wasn't grinding out first downs, as he did during the two-game winning streak that convinced the more delusional members of the Bills organization, media and general public that they might be a playoff team.
The biggest single blunder, though, came from whoever decided that, on the most pivotal play of the game, and perhaps the season, that it would be a good idea to give the ball to someone who hadn't taken a handoff in five years.
After Kerry Collins' 22-yard touchdown pass to Moss put Oakland up 10-7 early in the second quarter, Terrence McGee's weekly display of kickoff-return virtuosity, this time covering 57 yards, put Buffalo at Oakland's 40-yard line.
Whereupon Holcomb's three straight completions, mixed with five short runs by McGahee, put the ball 3 feet from the goal line, with one play to take the lead or surrender momentum.
Buffalo's oh-so-clever offensive thinkers didn't do the obvious and give it to McGahee, who might not be the best back in the league, but is certainly the best ball-carrier on Buffalo's roster. Or take the least complex path by sending Holcomb sneaking up the middle.
They didn't even call for a play-action pass, though a scoring toss to Sam Adams certainly would have satisfied their cute-call fetish.
Instead, head coach Mike Mularkey and offensive coordinator Tom Clements decided to do what no one -- not fans, not those know-it-alls in the press box and certainly not the Raiders -- would ever expect.
They gave the ball to Daimon Shelton.
"Who the (expletive deleted) was that?" one patron at M.T. Pockets on Hertel Avenue in Buffalo, this week's vantage point for the BillStuff coverage team, demanded seconds later while the Bills' offense slunk off the field past the celebrating Oakland defenders.
There were only about 43 problems with the decision to send Shelton into the right side of the line, but we'll stick to the top four.
1. Right tackle Mike Williams had hobbled off five plays earlier, with backup Greg German following him to the sidelines after McGahee's 1-yard run on third down.
2. If the Raiders' defense has a strong point, it's up the middle, where the morbidly obese, yet quite difficult to move, Ted Washington and the fading, but still quite large, Warren Sapp reside.
3. You had The Best Back right there and perfectly healthy.
4. It's Daimon Shelton, for God's sake.
The primary reason for the Buffalo fullback's existence, or at least his presence on the roster, is to block for The Best Back and whoever is playing quarterback. Once in a while, he's allowed to sneak out into the flat and catch a 5-yard pass on third-and-9.
Shelton had not, however, handled the ball on a running play yet this season. Or in all of 2004, his first season in Buffalo. Or in 2003, when he sat out the year after being released by Chicago. Or during his two seasons with the Bears before that.
Shelton's last carries came in 2000, when the Jacksonville Jaguars allowed him two attempts with which he produced a total of 3 yards.
As it turns out, there's a very good reason for not handing or tossing him the ball.
The call seemed to even shock Shelton, who was slow getting out of his stance, then trotted tentatively toward the line after getting the ball, only to hit the ground at first contact and lose the ball.
The officials ruled him down before the fumble, but being fourth down, that didn't matter much.
Before the play, the crowd at M.T. Pockets had been deep into the game, with Buffalo's strong start fueling the growing rowdiness. At one point, a zealous young man named Steve inadvertently whacked Scott, BillStuff's Sabres Correspondent, while reacting to a play. To his credit, Steve immediately bought Scott (and the rest of the bar) a drink.
Such frivolity was contagious, with even a member of the United States House of Representatives getting into the action. But more on that later.
If you need one play to summarize the Buffalo Bills under the regime of President-for-life Tom Donahoe, Shelton to right guard on fourth-and-1 will do nicely.
The Bills could have easily tied the game with a chip-shot field goal, or, if they insisted on taking the high-risk option with well over half the game to be played, they could have run any number of higher-percentage plays.
But no. That's not the Donahoe Way.
Look at the Steelers before Bill Cowher won the "me or him" war after the 1999 season. Pittsburgh won plenty of games, even reaching a Super Bowl, but always displayed something of an obsession with gimmickry. Why pound away with Jerome Bettis inside the 5-yard line when you can run an option play with Kordell Stewart? Why throw to one of the guys you pay to catch the ball when you know a throw to "Slash" will get you a spot on ESPN?
The we-think-we're-better-than-we-are mentality that pervades Buffalo's locker room and coaching offices also infected Pittsburgh back then. Days before hosting the San Diego Chargers in the AFC title game in January 1995, Donahoe's Steelers spent time in a team meeting room at Three Rivers Stadium rehearsing for a rap video to be recorded after their inevitable victory.
It never got made. The Chargers won, 17-13.
At least the success of those teams gave them some political capital to expend when the genius play calls backfired and boasting players wound up eating their words.
With Ol' Whitey calling every shot, the Bills have yet to make a single playoff appearance, much less host a championship game. And as they made painfully evident again on Sunday, they're not all that much closer to such glory than when he arrived amid much fanfare in the early days of 2001.
At 3-4, things don't look a lot brighter, even with Buffalo only a half-game out of first place. The toughest month of the schedule looms, starting with a Halloween-weekend trip to the Bills' house of horrors, Gillette Stadium.
The Bills have never won in Foxborough under Donahoe, with the beatings particularly cruel since the home team moved into its new digs in 2002. The Patriots have won their three home games against Buffalo at Gillette Stadium by an average score of 33-4.
New England has been wracked by injuries and beset by doubters after starting 3-3, but are coming off a bye week and will assuredly get an enormous boost from the expected return of linebacker Teddy Bruschi, who hasn't played since last year's Super Bowl after suffering an offseason stroke.
So this might be a real good week for Buffalo's organization, from Donahoe on down to the practice squad, to focus on playing like the playoff team he famously claimed they are, instead of just talking about it.
BILLS MVP: Well, Lee Evans and Josh Reed made nice plays on Buffalo's two touchdowns, so there's that.
RAIDERS' MVP: Jordan's runs put the game away, but it seems like anybody can gut these Bills on the ground. Collins, though, looked as good as he ever has. Even with Moss playing sparingly, the quarterback once known as Vodka Collins after partying his way out of Carolina and New Orleans strafed Buffalo's supposedly stellar secondary. And the very deep out throw he made to someone named Doug Gabriel for a 38-yard gain was stunning.
GOOD GOVERNMENT AWARD: A Democratic Party rally earlier in the afternoon at a nearby community center flooded North Buffalo with politicos. Several, including Rep. Brian Higgins, were at M.T. Pockets when the BS coverage team arrived shortly before kickoff.
Displaying sharp political instincts, the Congressman bought a round for the house. That might not have been enough to curry favor on its own, but when his entourage left, the departure cleared space at the bar for Scott, Homer and Denise. So were Higgins running for anything this November, BS would certainly endorse him -- especially since Scott deftly scored an extra marker left behind.
After all, when's the last time your congressional representative bought you a beer?
WING REPORT: Cheryl, our friendly barmaid, did yeoman's work (should that be yeowoman's work?), keeping a healthy crowd happy while serving up wings, steak sandwiches, fries and other healthy meal choices.
The wings we sampled were, by consensus, the best BS has encountered this season -- meaty, with great sauce, somehow crisp and admirably greasy at the same time. The steak sandwich was perfectly medium-rare, though split four ways, it was almost a tease. Grade: A.
BS FAN OF THE WEEK: Steve's display of passion, followed immediately by graciousness, was an easy winner.
| Niagara Falls Reporter | www.niagarafallsreporter.com | Oct. 25 2005 |