Niagara Falls Jokes

July 27, 2017 Staff 38

Gov. Cuomo was staying at the posh new Hotel Niagara and was about to go to sleep when there was a knock at his door. It turned out to be a pretty maid who told him, “I’ve come to turn down your bed,” to which the guv replied, “You wouldn’t be the first!”

***

A kid walks up to another kid at a Niagara Falls playground and tells him, “My daddy can beat up your daddy.”

The other kid replies, “Really? When?”

***

“I thought those people next door were drug dealers,” says a guy to his friend as they were sitting on their 19th Street porch drinking craft beers at one o’clock in the afternoon, “but it turns out, they’re Boy Scouts.” read more

Return of the King

July 27, 2017 Staff 19

By Matt Cole

The longstanding entrance music of Conor McGregor holds within its mighty verses the words “Right proudly high in Dublin town hung they out a flag of war”.

In the now famous words of The Notorious One “When one of us goes to war, we all go to war!”

The first shots in this war have been fired.

The battle of New York has begun.

Artvoice was there.

In Brooklyn, New York, 13,165 people including worldwide media outlets packed the Barclays Center. To watch a press conference. After hip hop artists and New York legends Swiss Beats and Doug E Fresh warmed up the crowd, Showtime VP Stephen Espinoza [who McGregor publicly and repeatedly dubbed “Weasel” after blaming him for McGregor’s mic being cut at the inaugural Mayweather/McGregor Press Conference in Los Angeles] was pulled from the stage, of his own event, prematurely as his speech was completely inaudible under the furious boos and jeers of the pro-Irish crowd. read more

Email addresses of select Group invited on Niagara Gorge tour

July 27, 2017 Staff 60

Here is the complete list of email addresses that were sent notice of the Niagara Gorge site tour by USA Niagara and ESD. Not a single one of these entities or organization is based in Niagara Falls or Niagara County. Also note that there are no preservation or nature groups on the list.

amawabnoy13@gmail.com, adam.karaczynski@am.jll.com, atc@croweandcrowelaw.com, amirnawaz77@gmail.com, anthony@makecommunities.com, bryon_smith@wgresorts.com, bdeluke@montante.com, cstoebe@foit-albert.com, clare@plastic-craft.com, morgandavid457@gmail.com, marketing@wendelcompanies.com, dennis.wood@greyco.com, dkostrzewski@montante.com, donna.walcavage@stantec.com, ellen.baird@appleseedstrategy.com, eshafer@delawarenorth.com, Frank@AdvancedArchitecture.net, ciao@landmarkdevelopers.com, watsonadvancedstarlight@outlook.com, hdesai@xanterra.com, testteg7@gmail.com, stopat2@lycos.com, janete@studica.com, mantisinteriors@gmail.com, Jill@GoSportsArt.com, moore@boltonstjohns.com, imssjim@aol.com, fatkatkitty@msn.com, jcook@qpkdesign.com, jstewart@edrdpc.com, jlbeam@meengineering.com, jradloff@prudenteng.com, jstearns@didonato.cc, katherine@gvideosolutions.com, Khaliphb@gmail.com, Primevendor124@gmail.com, lriordan@playsitesplus.com, leon.higgins@mottmac.com, bids@crewfacilities.com, shumaker@shumakerengineering.com, strateinc@gmail.com, lyra@bidocean.biz, marie.battaglia@grantsforgrowth.com, mshea@harrisbeach.com, matt@mrjusa.com, maxbichler@gmail.com, mdemaranville@chacompanies.com, bidders@bg-p.com, guismwall@Hotmail.com, michele@fdstudios.com, nancy.kleppel@appleseedstrategy.com, ngmonroe@yahoo.com, Tronolone, Paul (ESD), reza.zoroufie@gmail.com, BUFFALOSCALE@YAHOO.COM, rfp@rfxanalyst.com, marketing@hraadvisors.com, sourcemgmt@onvia.net, stevewalse85@gmail.com, swik@northeasternappraisal.com, sscholz@wildplay.com, marketing@westat.com, nbybel@chazencompanies.com, tabatha.orr@stantec.com, tshayenterprise@gmail.com, tprohaska@buffnews.com, Townsend.Lewis@WSPgroup.com, ctcultural@gmail.com, vivanov@gomanyork.com, greenleeconsulting@gmail.com, Wayne@alpinetowers.com read more

Let’s Get it Moving (We’re Talking Traffic Here)

July 20, 2017 Staff 28

tompkinss

By Councilman Kenny Tompkins

We have a traffic problem here in Niagara Falls near the Niagara Reservation Park. Guess what? This is a good thing. It means people are hearing about Niagara Falls. At the same time, we all know how frustrating it is to sit for hours in standstill traffic, like some visitors experienced on July 4 as they headed into our downtown from the I-190.

Gridlock does not leave a positive image of our city on people who have traveled sometimes hundreds of miles to enjoy the natural beauty of our cataracts. It hurts our chances of getting them to return in the future. Anyone in tourism can tell you repeat business and excellent word-of-mouth drive visitor numbers up faster than any ad can do. read more

The Buffalo Niagara Film Festival Returns

July 20, 2017 Staff 44

Buffalo Niagara Film Festival

The Buffalo Niagara Film Festival has grown from its modest beginnings on the University at Buffalo campus in 2007.  Since then, it has become the region’s premier gathering of professionals and dreamers who aspire to bask in the glow of the silver screen.

Bill Cowell, the founder of the BNFF, points to this year’s new venue as proof of the growth and popularity of the Festival.  This year, the Four Seasons Cinema at 2429 Military Road in the City of Niagara Falls will play host to the event, starting on Wednesday, September 20.  The Four Seasons has six screens and all of them will be in use during the Festival. read more

GEORGE MAZIARZ – A man of Honesty and Integrity

July 20, 2017 Staff 53

dilaura

The Right Side

By J Gary DiLaura

I first met George Maziarz in 1985. He was a Niagara County politician with a good reputation for honesty and a sincere concern for the people of Niagara County. In 1985 the Power Authority and NOT Mother Nature, jammed the entire East Niagara River during the biggest “ice run” in history. The Lake went to the highest elevation EVER and PASNY caused the biggest ice jam in the known history of the Upper Niagara River. They stopped ALL water from flowing down the entire east river, and put the river in flood stage for 30 days and then denied any responsibility for anything! read more

COLLUSION VS CONSPIRACY…WHAT’S THE CRIME?

July 20, 2017 Staff 50

dilaura

The Right Side

By J Gary DiLaura

COLLUSION VS CONSPIRACY… WHAT ‘S THE CRIME?

In all my years in law enforcement I never charged anyone for Conspiring to Collude or for Colluding to Conspire?! That’s because colluding and conspiring are NOT crimes!

In a May 23, 2017 FOX News article by Gregg Jarrett, Jarrett stated, “Robert Mueller is tasked with finding a crime that does not exist in the law. It is a legal impossibility.”

Jarrett went on to say, “As special counsel, Mueller can engage in all manner of spectacular jurisprudential gymnastics. However, it will not change the fact that colluding with Russia is not, under America’s criminal codes, a crime. It’s just not there.” read more

The Seneca Nation Gambled on the Future, and Won

July 20, 2017 Staff 66

roulette wheel

In 2002, at a time when New York State and its local communities were facing financial uncertainty, the many powers that be looked for relief wherever they could find it.  The one form that seemed feasible was entering into a compact with the Seneca Nation of Indians to allow Class III Gaming (a stylish term for casino gambling) in New York State. With the blessing of the federal government, this agreement would produce gaming proceeds that would be shared with the State, and then shared with the local communities that hosted such gaming facilities (Niagara Falls, Buffalo and Salamanca). read more

Niagara Falls Jokes

July 20, 2017 Staff 43

The driver on the Discover Niagara shuttle announced that he was going to tell a joke at the expense of Niagara Falls. A woman in the back of the shuttle said, “No, don’t do that. I live here.” The driver looked up at her in the mirror and said, “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll explain it to you afterwards.”

***

Then she got off the Discover Niagara shuttle at the next stop, and he had to save his joke for the next day, when somebody got on again.

***

Shuttle-4

A Niagara Falls man was drinking at a Lewiston bar all afternoon, so he decided that he would take the Discover Niagara shuttle home… Luckily, it was still where he had parked it. read more

SPECIAL “EXECUTIONER”

July 14, 2017 Staff 41

lgd

The Right Side

By J Gary DiLaura

Our Rule of Law comprises three branches of the government; the Legislative (makes the laws), the Judicial (interprets the law) and the Executive (enforces the law).

The President is the Chief Executive and Chief Law Enforcement officer. He is the boss of the Department of Justice. He can listen to ANY eavesdropping matter by ANY of the intelligence Agencies, like NSA, FBI, CIA, et al. He can open or close any investigation by any agency. He can review the evidence collected by ANY Agency in the entire government, period, no exception! read more

Liar Jokes

July 14, 2017 Staff 29

dyster-beer

A young Paul Dyster came crying to his father.

“Dad, my college frat brothers say that I’m a liar!” he sobbed.

“But son,” his father replied, “you don’t belong to a frat!”

***

“Are you aware,” asked the recruiter when Dyster applied for his first job, upon examining his resume’, “that a half truth is the equivalent of a whole lie?”

***

His parents once punished Dyster for lying, and he turned on them, stamped his feet and shouted, “Santa! Easter Bunny! Tooth Fairy!” read more