Mayor Dyster and Totes McGoat walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “You get out! The goat can stay.”
What can you say about a city administration that unceremoniously showed world famous high wirewalker Nik Wallenda the door but welcomed “Totes McGoat” to town?
"Which one is the Mayor?"
Heard outside city hall as Mayor Dyster
introduced Totes McGoat to the media.
Has the Paul Dyster-Totes McGoat episode
caused you to forget any of the following?
A) The city's $7.6 million deficit
B) The city's $63 million debt
C) The frozen water lines
D) The crime and unsolved murders
Mayor, you're only fooling yourself.
Mr. Dyster breathlessly posted to his Face- book page a Gazette editorial praising his
modification of the trash plan, three weeks
prior to the election. The mayor failed to
post the scathing Gazette editorial calling
for his Totes McGoat to be deposited in a
There is no truth to the rumor that Totes McGoat is going to replace Donna Owens as city administrator. There is truth to the rumor that Mr. McGoat is going to replace Craig Johnson as corporation counsel.
The Gazette editorialized about Totes Mc-Goat, calling the creation of the nasty mascot, “high on the list of embarrassments” for the Dyster administration. We wonder how high it ranks against the $50 million courthouse, $44 million train station, $13 million ice pavilion renovation, shuttered Underground Railroad Interpretive center, pothole streets, millions spent on consultants, cricket field, $150,000 to refrigerate penguins, frozen water lines, and, well, you know.
Hey, it wasn’t so bad, was it? Aside from being poorly thought out, cheesy in appearance, satanic in nature, and totally frightening for children the Totes McGoat character was, uh...um...something.