Paul Dyster and Kristen Grandinetti walk into a bar, are ushered to a private table, given complimentary drinks and then:
Dyster says to her, "Let's celebrate how I gave $100,000 of taxpayer money to the school district for a 15 half-day summer program and scored big points with the school administration in an election year!"
Grandinetti says to Dyster, "Let's celebrate how, after six years, I suddenly abstained from a council vote affecting school district policy and simultaneously became a hero with the teachers union! and at the same time, because you still had three votes, the $100,000 deal passed, so my abstaining meant nothing and you got what you wanted too. That's what I call a two-for."
Dyster said to the waitress, "Smart Girl -uh, er- 'woman' - that Kristen."
At least he's consistent. Charles Walker can't pay his taxes, can't pay his credit union loan and sometimes he can't pay attention at the council meetings.
"The order of operations is a complex bunch of steps in rapid succession," said Mayor Dyster in a Gazette story last week. He wasn't describing emergency brain surgery he was describing the Hamister project.
One good hole deserves another. The mayor has announced that he isn't done digging test holes on 72nd Street. Looks like digging holes is a lot like eating potato chips...it's hard to stop at just one. That fee of $5000 per hole could buy plenty of potato chips.
We hear Nick Melson is working feverishly to repair Dyster's severely damaged public image before Primary Day. One question: whose going to repair Melson's image?
Dyster is telling anyone who'll listen that he has to be returned to office so he can finish the job he started. That's like a bank robber asking for more time so he can completely clean out the vault.
Word has it that Dyster's campaign petition passers are so unpopular in LaSalle that even the Jehovah Witnesses are slamming the door in their face.
Got to keep them guessing. After moving the 5 pm council meeting to 6 pm and the 6 pm meeting to 7 pm the council has now moved the 6 pm meeting to 5 pm and the 7 pm meeting to 6 pm. If you're confused it's because they want you to be.
Both Dyster and Touma said they did it for the kids...handing $100,000 of taxpayer cash to the school district so the students wouldn't "commit crime and arson." Uh-huh. That chunk of taxpayer money is the only thing keeping these youngsters from engaging in kidnapping for profit, becoming drug kingpins, enlisting in ISIS and subverting the United States Constitution.
Critical thinking corner: the 2013 NYS Comptroller's audit of city finances reported that money had been purposely hidden within the budget in order to keep it away from the duly elected mayor and council, and that some of the hidden money remained unaccounted for. Why hasn't the Dyster administration addressed the matter?