Mayor Dyster and three residents of 72nd Street walk into a bar. The mayor turns to the bartender and says: “Drinks for my friends and make sure they get plenty of ice!”
“By the time my hand-picked consultant finishes the test digging on 72nd Street no one will remember that I hid the 2014 engineering report that proved the pipes were too shallow.” (A devious thought bubble above Paul Dyster’s head)
Nothing succeeds like the subsidy of success. Third Street, an essentially government subsidized street, just tried to prove that the street’s businesses are successful by holding a government subsidized block party. A façade on a Hollywood back lot is more real.
Well, color us surprised. Dyster and his council approved the spending of more casino funds. This time for the SPCA contract and police 911equipment. Since casino cash is supposed to be used for economic development we’ll buy the mayor a six-pack of his favorite brew if he can explain how 911equipment and the animal control agreement fit the parameters of casino revenue law.
The mayor held a press conference last week on 72nd Street to tell the media that he was determined to get to the bottom of the freezing pipes mystery. He didn’t, however, express any interest in getting to the bottom of the “Dyster anonymous fund” mystery.
Mission accomplished. Gus the Goose and several Cayuga Island residents informed the Reporter that the Jayne Park goose population has largely abandoned the park in the wake of the Dyster-DeSantis “renovation.” Gus told the Reporter, “Dyster and DeSantis destroyed the park in order to save it.” Gus is now circulating “Jayne Park honks me off!” bumper stickers.
Tackling unemployment one political job at time. Paul Dyster has lined up Johnny Destino for the director of Purchasing job at city hall. Now, if Dyster can find approximately 5,457 more jobs in city hall for the locally out-of-work he’ll have ended unemployment.
As work begins on the 2016 budget the early word is that – surprise, surprise – the current city deficit is $4,000,000! Which is what it’s been for the past five years…in spite of the fact that each year that deficit was CLOSED with casino cash. That’s no joke but it’s a genuine mystery!
Tomato- toe-ma-to. Paul Dyster is calling the excavations on 72nd Street “test trenches.” We prefer to call them “Holes in the street designed to cloud the fact that Dyster hid the 2014 engineering report that laid blame on the city for the shallow pipes.”
Seth Piccirillo and Mayor Dyster have taken verbal bureaucratic duplicity to a new and frightening level by referring to the blacktop in Jayne Park as an “asphalt trail.” With that in mind we’ve jumped into the murky verbal waters with our own entries:
Road - vehicular asphalt egress
Death - ultimate relaxation of the autonomic breathing response
Consultant - expertise categorically purchased by the billable hour