This coming week Mayor Paul Dyster, and the Niagara Arts and Cultural Center (NACC) are holding their annual Art of Beer Fund Raiser.
The Mayor, who is a certified National Beer Judge and owns his own home beer brewing supply store, might be said to be a true authority on the art of making excellent, drinkable beer.
Helpful to the environment, the mayor's art is fully recyclable.
The mayor's slogan for his art program: "The only thing wasted is you."
The mayor's idea of micro managing: micro brewing.
When art lovers enjoy art, they undergo an aesthetic experience that rivets the mind and enhances the human condition. When they enjoy the mayor's art, they lose their minds and enhance the urinal.
The Gin Mill: the place where the mayor's starving artists meet to create their best works.
The mayor's art is so fickle, the artists can't remember which piece of art they liked best.
The mayor has invented a new crime: DWA (driving while artistic).
The mayor's art collection is in his fridge.
The mayor's art is so moving that art lovers often slur their words and fall down in joy.
According to the mayor, art should not only be seen and admired, it should be ingested and expelled.
When the mayor thinks of art, he does not think of Picasso or Monet, he thinks of Budweiser and Moonshine.
Reporter: What's artistic about being sober?
The Mayor at the Art of Beer: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Mrs. Dyster: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Mayor: "It's me talking to the beer."
The Mayor's 'art' is not the answer... But it does make you forget the question.
Remember, after you leave the mayor's art event, do not text while driving, you might spill your beer.
Last year, Mayor Dyster was enjoying a little too much art, so he had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but he never drove a bus before.
After leaving the Art of Beer, the Mayor was stumbling down Pine Ave with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop stopped him and said, "Mr. Mayor, I better take you home, sir. You're drunk" The Mayor replied, "Ociffer, are you sure?" "
You're drunk, your Honor, I'm sure," said the cop.
"What a relief," said the Mayor said, "I thought I was a cripple."
What rhymes with Dyster? Beermeister of course!
At the end of the day, Mayor Dyster brings new meaning to the phrase: "artsy-fartsy."