Question: How many people does it take to change a scoreboard light bulb in Sal Maglie Stadium?
Answer: Scoreboard light bulbs are never changed in Sal Maglie Stadium.
Someone should tell Paul Dyster that there’s no lying in baseball. We all know he chased the Niagara Power out of town.
Vote for Dyster! The mayor has brought cricket, kayaks and low income housing to town. Now if he can just get running water in LaSalle, do something about the crime, close the $7.6 million budget gap and find the missing millions the state Comptroller wrote about, we’ll be all set.
Mayor’s air quality panel: a 40-member board appointed by the mayor to investigate the foul downtown odor that has plagued the city for years but now, three weeks before the Primary, suddenly needs remediation.
The bumper sticker we’d like to see. “The city is broke, the water doesn’t run in the winter, the garbage doesn’t get picked up, and the casino cash is gone! Re-elect Paul Dyster...Not!”
“Hey you kids, you better vote for me or I’ll toss you out of here!” Dyster throwing his weight around at the Hyde Park golf course.
Last week John Ceretto held a press conference to announce that he was switching from Republican to Democrat after having switched from Democrat to Republican several years ago. Apparently this was a pretty important political event. How important? So important that Mayor Dyster and his secretary, Nick Melson, used city time to attend the daytime press conference at the IBEW hall.
“So what am I chopped liver?” The ghost of Luther Jayne remarking as to how Paul Dyster failed to replace the missing plaque in Jayne Park honoring Mr. Jayne while the mayor put his own name on a sign in Jayne Park.
Saint John the Evangelist, the author of the Book of Revelation in the New Testament, has nothing on Mayor Paul Dyster. While on the Darro show last Wednesday the mayor, outrageously said, “I have a difficult time running this city because I have to deal with the Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse: gangs, guns and drugs!” Yes, my friends, he actually said that.
We interrupt these jokes to bring you a, “hmm that’s funny” item as opposed to the usual, “ha-ha, that’s funny” joke. It seems there’s some significant confusion in city hall as to how the Isaiah 61 program administrators have been getting paid. More to come at a later date.
Mayor Dyster’s job as mayor is extremely difficult due to:
d) All of the above