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AUGUST 03 - AUGUST 11, 2015

City Hall Jokes

AUGUST 03, 2015

It’s a sign of the slimes: It looks like the Dyster Jayne Park Restoration plan wasn’t so well received…there’s just two lonely “Dyster for Mayor” signs in the Cayuga Island neighborhood.

 

No running water, a failed sewage treatment plant and the sport of cricket. Paul Dyster has brought the charms of the Third World to the residents of Niagara Falls.

Pssst, Mayor Dyster, before you hire a consultant to find the overdue parking ticket revenue why not see if you can locate the unaccounted $1.4 million that the NYS Comptroller reported on?

There’s no truth to the rumor that Paul Dyster’s resume was spotted last week on monster.com. However, that could change quickly since the primary is only weeks away.

Buffalo gets the Buffalo Billion. Niagara Falls gets the Buffalo Nickel.

“It’s absolutely amazing how after eight years of wasting taxpayer money and destroying my own credibility the local media still plays along when I want to plant a story.”

(Paul Dyster thinking to himself late at night)

Duh! While the media breathlessly reported on the alleged $2 million in outstanding parking tickets no one thought to ask Dyster or his controller or the council chairman, “What kind of financial management system are you running that you’ve let things get so wildly out of control?”

“I’m amazed no one has noticed that while I campaigned against council members receiving the health insurance opt-out payment I went right ahead and took it for myself. This elected official thing is every bit as easy as Charlie Walker said it was!”

(A smug thought bubble above Andrew Touma’s head) Kristen Grandinetti took to Facebook on Saturday evening to tell everyone she’s quitting Facebook until after Primary Day. We’re wishing the council lady great success with her Facebook abstinence, and we hope she’ll extend that abstinence from five weeks to five years. Show us the way, Kristen!

“I wonder if anyone noticed that when we failed to get the parking plan approved we immediately went to the media to unjustifiably link the parking plan to the $2 million in outstanding parking tickets? And, hopefully no one will learn that Mayor Anello hired a company to collect overdue parking fines back in 2007.” (A simultaneous thought bubble appearing last week above the heads of Mayor Dyster, his controller, and council chairman)

 

 

 

 

 

Cricket Now Proceeding Apace in City Dyster Cuts Ribbon and Plays an Inning of the Grand Sport of the Imperial British Raj he Brought to the Falls
Buffalo Niagara Cricket Club More of Buffalo than Niagara
Questions Somebody Should Ask the Mayor About his Cricket Field?
It’s a Mystery How the Dyster Administration Gets Away With it Riddle us This, Mayor Dyster
From Planned Parenthood, to “Sexy” Actors, Grandinetti’s Facebook Shows Councilwoman Driven
Grandinetti Gets Dyster Order to Cool Facebook Activity Till After Primary
Chilton Avenue a Bit Safer Today As Pescrillo’s Financial Woes Worsen
New PEF Leaders Sworn In, Commit to Fair Contract and Strengthening the Union
County Cited for Eight Violations in Shaw Bldg. Asbestos Case
Niagara Frontier Loses Out on Legal Pot In the Same Way it Loses Out on Everything
Dyster Fumbles Attempt to Defend Hamister Hotel Deal in TV Interview
Dyster Has the Numbers do the Residents Have the Will?
The Niagara Falls Reporter’s Top 20 Reasons Why Niagara Falls is Not Gaining Ground
Dyster Waterfront Record Deplorable, Will Cause Lasting Damage to City
Only in NT: Canal Fest Parking and Other Recommendations
Ceretto Makes Headlines for Spending $11 more Than Assembly Competition
ECC Facing Second Federal Civil Rights Lawsuit
Red Cross Needs Niagara Blood Donors
Niagara Catholic Welcomes New Administrators
More Roads Added to the Paving List
A Message From Carl Paladino The Clock
Sen. Schumer, Comedian Amy Schumer Call for (Even) More Federal Control of State Gun Laws
The Doctor's Son Can
Memorial to Expand Primary Care Services, Open New Medical Office on Military Road
Gunfight, Bank Robbery, Kidnapping, What’s Next? - Part 2
David Nail to Perform FREE (with gate admission) at the Erie County Fair
City Hall Jokes

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