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Bad Jokes About the Art of Beer

By Moose, Jr.,

To those who criticize the Mayor's efforts to make beer viewed as art, try to remember that art is in the eye of the beer holder.

Helpful to the environment, the mayor's art is fully recyclable.

The mayor's slogan for his art program: "The only thing wasted is you."

The mayor's idea of micro managing: micro brewing.

When art lovers enjoy art, they undergo an aesthetic experience that rivets the mind and enhances the human condition. When they enjoy the mayor's art, they lose their minds and enhance the urinal.

The Gin Mill: the place where the mayor's starving artists meet to create their best works.

The mayor's art is so fickle, the artists can't remember which piece of art they liked best.

The mayor has invented a new crime: DWA (driving while artistic).

The mayor's art collection is in his fridge.

The mayor's art is so moving that art lovers often slur their words and fall down in joy.

According to the mayor, art should not only be seen and admired, it should be ingested and expelled.

When the mayor thinks of art, he does not think of Picasso or Monet, he thinks of Budweiser and Moonshine.

Reporter: What's artistic about being sober?

Mayor: Nothing.

The Mayor at the Art of Beer: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Mrs. Dyster: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Mayor: "It's me talking to the beer."

The Mayor's 'art' is not the answer... But it does make you forget the question.

Remember, after you leave the mayors art event, do not text while driving, you might spill your beer.

Last year, Mayor Dyster was enjoying a little too much art, so he had to take a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but he never drove a bus before.

After leaving the Art of Beer, the Mayor was stumbling down Pine Ave with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop stopped him and said, "Mr. Mayor, I better take you home, sir. You're drunk" The Mayor replied, "Ociffer, are you sure?" "

You're drunk, your Honor, I'm sure," said the cop.

"What a relief," said the Mayor said, "I thought I was a cripple."

What rhymes with Dyster? Beermeister of course!

At the end of the day, Mayor Dyster brings new meaning to the phrase: "artsy-fartsy."



Niagara Falls Reporter - Publisher Frank Parlato Jr. www.niagarafallsreporter.com

Feb 18, 2014