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Dr. Ann Aswhipe PHD
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All the world over, people are seeking advice on the problems that confront them, hoping that someone kind and knowing will guide them to make the right decisions. Generally the people who write to a perfect stranger who writes is newspaper column are among the least intelligent and therefore are likely the ones who need the most help.
If you have a problem write Dr. Ann Aswhipe, PO BOx 3083, Niagara Falls NY 14303, or email news1926@gmail.com.
DEAR Dr. Ann: I have been married 21 years. I have a 17-year-old daughter. For the past year, my family life has been a living hell.
My wife and daughter refer to me –- and all men –- as "stupid." At first, I took it as a joke, but it has escalated to the point where I can't open my mouth without hearing, "You men are so stupid!" If I ask what's for dinner, it's, "Don't be so stupid. Look for yourself." If I ask the time, it's, "Men are so stupid. You don't even know how to tell time!"
My wife and daughter enjoy their "jokes" and even do "high-fives" to congratulate themselves on their cleverness. I have asked them to stop, but they say I am "too sensitive." I started keeping a diary of their remarks. I was told I was stupid 35 times in four weeks!
I love my wife, but I can't stay in this marriage if they continue to insult me. It is poisoning my relationships. Before this, my daughter was a good kid. She is now a little monster with my wife's blessing. I suggested that we get counseling. My wife said no and told my daughter, who then accused me of being the "oppressor."
Dr. Aswhipe, what should I do?
Vexed Hubby in the Falls.
DEAR Hubbie: You are clearly one stupid fellow to tolerate this kind of behavior. Don't bother going to counseling, you can't fix stupid.
DEAR Ann: I am a great-grandmother with a unique hobby. A large number of four-leaf clovers grow in my yard. I pick them and give them to people who are sick, or mail them to friends just to let them know I care.
I picked 14 of them and mailed them in a card to my favorite author, Stephen King, when he was injured. Most people seem to enjoy them, and I hope he did.
My friend says that people will think I'm strange or superstitious, but I think most of us like to know someone cares and is thinking of us.
I have never had anyone refuse a bouquet of four-leaf clovers, but maybe they are just being kind. Do you think I should stop sending them? –- CURIOUS in Lewiston
DEAR CURIOUS: I'm quite sure that any person who receives a bouquet of four-leaf clovers from you thinks you are a perfect idiot. I flushed the ones you sent me right down the toilet.
DEAR Ann: Please tell me how many times it is necessary to say "God bless you" after someone sneezes continuously. Must you "bless" someone every time he or she sneezes, or is it OK to stop at one? I work in an office full of sneezers -– and I'd really like to know. –- Perplexed in Ransomville
DEAR Perplexed: You must proclaim "God bless you" after each sneeze no matter how many times a person sneezes. If a person sneezes too quickly to insert a "God bless you" in between each sneeze, keep count and say "God bless you" the exact number of times the person sneezed when they finish. Keep count. That's real important.
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