One of the desired locations for Quasar's Equate is next to a Pendleton apple farm, which reminds me of an Aesop fable:
An apple orchard was beside a Quasar plant, and the heavy rains came and washed both the apples and the human turds (waiting to be made into Equate) into the creek. As the apples and turds were going downstream together, the turds were heard to exclaim, "my, how we apples can swim."
The apples then said, "Gheez, next thing you know Quasar will be telling people Equate is made from us apples."
Once there was a brown object who came from New York City to live in Niagara County. Several local residents passed by and smelled the brown, moist, handsome object, as he was relaxing at his new home, a farm field downwind from their subdivision.
Of course, the people held their noses.
The brown, smelly object was offended, and spoke to the people of Niagara County. "You hypocrites. You turn away in disgust, but it is I who should turn away from you. For, once I was admired, living in New York City. I was a cake — gorgeous to look at and wonderful to taste. Then I came in contact with people and they devoured me — sated themselves, sharing me with their fancy Manhattan friends and, then, as the result of coming in contact with humans — after they digested what they could of me — they flushed me down their toilets. Alas, once I was a beautiful cake. Now, after coming in contact with you humans, look at what I've become!"
The people of Niagara asked the brown dung-like creature what it's name was and he said he called himself "Equate."
At this they all laughed and said, "around here we don't call such as you 'Equate,' we call you 'sh--.'"
The cake turned deep brown from embarrassment and asked his company, Quasar, to take him back to New York City.
But they didn't want him either.