Niagara Falls Jokes

The finances of the city of Niagara Falls are swirling so far down into a black hole that even Stephen Hawking is impressed.


“We’re not actually bleeding money,” says Mayor Dyster, “It’s just that expenditures are outpacing allocations, right?”


Mayor Dyster hit on a new idea to save the city of Niagara Falls from insolvency. He decided to invest what’s left of the reserve fund into penny stocks. Since penny stocks have such a huge upside potential, if he was right, all the city’s financial woes might be taken care of.

So he contacts a stock broker, who recommends a company that manufactures parking meters. “It’s a hot stock that will really move,” said the broker, “and it’s only $1 a share.”

“Buy me 1000 shares.” said Dyster.

The next day the stock was at $2. Dyster called the broker and said, “You were right, give me 5000 more shares.”

The next day he looked on the internet and the stock was at $4.

Hizzoner ran to the phone and called the broker, “Get me 10,000 more shares!” he cried.

“Great!” said the broker.

The next day an ecstatic Mayor Dyster looks it up, and the stock was now at $9.

Seeing what a great profit he had made in just a few days, Dyster called the broker and instructed, “Sell all my shares immediately!”

The broker said, “To whom? You were the only one buying that stock.”



The year was 2020, and it had come to pass that the city no longer had money to pay for Lockport Street to get paved.

In fact, Accadia Site Contracting, noticing that a previous invoice hadn’t been paid by the city, instructed its collections manager to contact City Hall.

The collections manager made the call and left a message for Community Development director Seth Piccirillo who, because of personnel cutbacks, was now also the city’s Economic Development director, Treasurer and was in charge of setting the darkness control on the copy machine.

The message informed Piccirillo that, “We can’t finish paving Lockport Street until you pay for previous work done.”

After a brief conference with Mayor Dyster, Piccirillo replied,

“Forget about it. We can’t wait that long.”


A Niagara Falls lawyer was relaxing on a Florida beach when an old friend from back home walked by. Happy to see him, he asked the lawyer what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that Niagara Falls real estate I owned? Well, it all burned down in the middle of the night, so here I am with the insurance proceeds.”

“What about you?” the lawyer asked his friend, who replied, “Remember that lousy condo I had in Houston? Well, Hurricane Harvey wiped me out, so here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.”

The lawyer looked puzzled. “Gee,” he asked, “how do you start a hurricane?”


  1. Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will appreciate if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  2. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset. I’d really like to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested. Regards!

  3. I do not even understand how I stopped up right here, however I believed this post used to be good. I do not understand who you are however certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  4. ivvjvhkio fgmeq wqnlgsn orde ijlmotbmlstwqgh

  5. Hello, happy that i stumble on this in google. Thanks!

  6. Ha, here from google, this is what i was browsing for.

  7. 694494 227063I visited lots of website but I conceive this 1 holds something special in it in it 405452

  8. 903919 338192Most reliable human being messages, nicely toasts. are already provided gradually during the entire wedding celebration and therefore are anticipated to be extremely laid back, humorous and as effectively as new all at once. greatest man speech 990014

  9. Awesome, this is what I was searching for in yahoo

  10. Good Day, glad that i saw on this in google. Thanks!

  11. f2aTGA Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It as on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

  12. You’re totally correct, I would really enjoy to discover more on that topic! I’m also curious about garageband ipad since I consider it is quite cool nowadays. Thanks!

  13. I like the helpful info you provide for your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and test
    once more here regularly. I’m moderately certain I will
    be told many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the following!

  14. This text is invaluable. When can I find out more?

  15. Howdy! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to give it a look.
    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to
    my followers! Wonderful blog and amazing design and style.

  16. Good day. I recently found this amazing site and I really enjoy it. I like to chat about router setup sometimes. Good to be here, many thanks!

  17. 717162 684847Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didnt appear. Grrrr effectively Im not writing all that more than once again. Regardless, just wanted to say great weblog! 606351

  18. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in truth was once a entertainment account it. Look advanced to far delivered agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  19. There’s amazing upgrades on the structure of this webpage, I really like that! My site is regarding homework websites for teachers and generally there are plenty of stuff to be done, I’m currently a rookie in webpage design. Cheers!

  20. Spot on with this write-up, I really suppose this web site needs rather more consideration. I’ll probably be again to read far more, thanks for that info.

  21. I felt great reading this article and I believe you are totally correct. Tell me in the event that you are involved in aptoide apk download, that is my main expertise. I’m hoping to check back with you soon enough, take good care!

  22. There are awesome changes on the layout of this site, I really enjoy this! My website is dealing with aptoide android and there are a lot of things to be done, I’m still a starter in website design. Thanks!

  23. 45393 742896Currently really do not stop eating because there is however the decision that you will transform into. Work from your home us rrs often a fad for that who wants to earn dollars however still enough time requires most substantial occasions employing children and kids goes for as the modern habit. attract abundance 870002

  24. Greetings! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading through your articles. Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same topics? Thank you!

  25. Hello there, you are certainly right. I constantly go through your content carefully. I am furthermore considering aadhar card check, maybe you could discuss this sometimes. See you!

  26. This particular blog is no doubt cool and diverting. I have discovered helluva interesting advices out of this amazing blog. I ad love to return over and over again. Thanks!

  27. 14279 335745There exist a couple of several different distinct levels among the California Weight loss program and each and every a person is pretty essential. Youre procedure stands out as the the actual giving up with all the power. weight loss 690166

  28. 544102 269299I ought to admit that this really is one fantastic insight. It surely gives a company the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and actually take part in creating something particular and tailored to their needs. 260270

  29. 765863 886539 You created some decent points there. I looked on the internet for the concern and identified most individuals will go along with along with your site. 817118

  30. Greetings I am so happy I found your weblog, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Bing for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a tremendous post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I donít have time to go through it all at the moment but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.

  31. What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to contribute & aid other customers like its helped me. Good job.

  32. I’ve learn several excellent stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you set to create any such fantastic informative site.

  33. Howdy this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have
    to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience.
    Any help would be enormously appreciated!

  34. Very good article post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.

  35. Usually I don at learn article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to check out and do so! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thank you, quite nice post.

  36. Im obliged for the article.Really thank you! Cool.

  37. Great, bing took me stright here. thanks btw for post. Cheers!

  38. That is a very good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Short but very precise info Thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!

  39. 868730 90628I see that you are using WordPress on your blog, wordpress could be the best. :~- 28453

  40. You can definitely see your expertise within the work you write.

  41. Pretty! This has been an extremely wonderful post. Thank you for providing this information.

  42. very good publish, i actually love this website, keep on it

  43. Hi there to every one, it’s truly a pleasant for me
    to visit this site, it consists of important Information.

  44. 166268 78055I believe this internet site has very superb composed subject material articles . 913602

  45. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem together with your website in web explorer, might test this?
    IE nonetheless is the market chief and a big component of other folks will omit your great writing due to this problem.

  46. Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part 🙂 I care for such info much. I was looking for this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.

  47. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often. Did
    you hire out a designer to create your theme?
    Outstanding work!

  48. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get setup?
    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive.
    Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks

  49. Great tremendous things here. I?¦m very satisfied to peer your article. Thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

  50. I’ve been browsing on-line more than three hours lately, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It is lovely value enough for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will probably be much more helpful than ever before. “No nation was ever ruined by trade.” by Benjamin Franklin.

  51. I rattling delighted to find this website on bing, just what I was searching for : D likewise saved to bookmarks.

  52. You have observed very interesting points! ps decent site.

  53. Hello.This post was extremely fascinating, particularly since I was searching for thoughts on this topic last Tuesday.

  54. It is really a nice and helpful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  55. I feel this is one of the most vital info for me.

    And i am satisfied reading your article. However wanna remark on some basic
    issues, The web site taste is wonderful, the articles is
    in point of fact nice : D. Just right job, cheers

  56. What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It positively useful and it has helped me out loads. I hope to contribute & aid other users like its aided me. Great job.

  57. This design is wicked! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  58. Hi would you mind letting me know which web host you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good hosting provider at a fair price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!

  59. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew
    of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
    I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and
    was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading
    your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  60. I’m still learning from you, while I’m making my way to the top as well. I certainly enjoy reading everything that is posted on your website.Keep the stories coming. I liked it!

  61. This post is invaluable. When can I find out

  62. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this web site. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming also. In fact your creative writing skills has inspired me to get my own website now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a great example of it.

  63. This design is spectacular! You certainly know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

  64. Simply wanna input that you have a very decent website , I like the style and design it actually stands out.

  65. Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

  66. Excellent website. A lot of useful info here. I am sending it to a few buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks to your effort!

  67. There is evidently a bundle to realize about this. I feel you made various nice points in features also.

  68. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  69. Look forward to looking over your web page repeatedly.

  70. First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had
    a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was curious to know how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I’ve had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out.
    I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just
    seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are wasted simply just trying
    to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Kudos!

  71. I’ve been surfing on-line more than three hours as of late, yet I never found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It?¦s pretty value enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the web will likely be a lot more useful than ever before.

  72. Your style is so unique compared to many other people. Thank you for publishing when you have the opportunity,Guess I will just make this bookmarked.2

  73. Great post. I am facing a couple of these problems.

  74. Hi there, I discovered your site by the use of Google whilst looking for a related matter, your site came up, it appears to be like good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  75. Glad to be one of the visitors on this awe inspiring website : D.

  76. great post.Ne’er knew this, thanks for letting me know.

  77. It as nearly impossible to locate knowledgeable men and women about this subject, but you seem to become what occurs you are coping with! Thanks

  78. For the reason that the admin of this website is working, no question very quickly it will be famous,
    due to its quality contents.

  79. I’m not sure why but this website is loading very slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end?

    I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  80. This site was how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Thank you!

  81. You ave made some decent points there. I looked on the web for additional information about the issue

  82. Just wanna comment that you have a very decent website , I enjoy the layout it really stands out.

  83. Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Thanks

  84. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website. Reading this info So i am happy to convey that I’ve a very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to don’t forget this website and give it a look regularly.

  85. I think other web-site proprietors should take this site as an model, very clean and fantastic user friendly style and design, let alone the content. You are an expert in this topic!

  86. Good write-up, I am regular visitor of one’s website, maintain up the excellent operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a long time.

  87. this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward

  88. If some one wants to be updated with hottest technologies
    therefore he must be pay a quick visit this website and be
    up to date every day.

  89. Thank you for your blog article.Really thank you!

  90. Hello very cool site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds alsoKI am satisfied to search out so many helpful information here within the submit, we’d like develop more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  91. A lot of thanks for all of the effort on this blog. Gloria loves getting into investigation and it’s easy to see why. My spouse and i hear all of the powerful manner you create very helpful tricks on your website and improve participation from the others on this theme then my child is truly being taught a whole lot. Enjoy the rest of the year. You are always performing a superb job.

  92. That is a great tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very precise info Thank you for sharing this one. A must read post!

  93. I enjoy your writing style genuinely loving this site.

  94. It as nearly impossible to find educated people for this subject, but you seem like you know what you are talking about! Thanks

  95. I used to be very pleased to find this net-site.I needed to thanks to your time for this excellent read!! I positively enjoying every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

  96. It as not that I want to copy your internet site, but I really like the layout. Could you let me know which style are you using? Or was it tailor made?

  97. I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to reach my goals. I absolutely enjoy reading all that is posted on your blog.Keep the posts coming. I liked it!

  98. I always was interested in this subject and stock still am, thanks for putting up.

  99. I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later. Many thanks

  100. I am constantly invstigating online for ideas that can aid me. Thanks!

  101. Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Superb choice of colors!

  102. Hello, happy that i stumble on this in google. Thanks!

  103. There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll Up
.wpzoom (color:black;}